Your search found 14 comics:11 FEB 1990 Script Uh oh, here comes Calvin... The incurable weirdness poster child. Hi Calvin. What's with the mask and bucket? HMPH. This is a poem! Please do what you're told! And here is a bucket of water ice-cold! Please take this water, and dump it on me! Don't hesitate! Do it A.S.A.P.! Just wait till YOU touch the "pernicious poem place"!! Oooh, you'll be sorry THEN! Whee! I love playing CalvinBall! This is a bag flag zone!
Description Susie stands in the snow saying winter has wrapped the land in a soft, white blanket, and the earth sleeps quietly. Suddenly, she hears yelling coming down the hill. It's Calvin, yelling at Hobbes to lean, yelling "look out below", "mayday", and "bail out". Calvin's sled crashes. He yells at Hobbes for almost getting them killed. They start fighting. Susie walks away, saying that when she grows up, she'll live in the tropics. Hobbes tells Calvin to get the sled out of the tree so they can do it again. Calvin wants to get a siren for the sled.
Appears In 05 MAY 1990 Script It's Saturday! What do you want to do? Anything but play an organized sport. Want to play Calvinball? YEAH! No sport is less organized than Calvinball! New rule! New rule! If you don't touch a 30-yard base wicket with the flag, you have to hop on one foot!
Description Hobbes says it's Saturday and wants to know what Calvin wants to do. Calvin says anything but an organized sport. Hobbes asks if he wants to play Calvinball. Hobbes says no sport is less organized than Calvinball. Calvin calls a new rule. If you don't touch the 30 yard base wicket with the flag, you have to hop on one foot.
Appears In 27 MAY 1990 Script I'm taking the umbrella outside. Well, that's showing a little foresight for once. Good for you. Wait a minute. You really think this will work? Of course! Let's go! Smash! Bonk bonk bonk. Look! I'm flying!! I had my eyes shut. How was it? Great! What a ride! Let's get some other kids and charge 'em!
Description Calvin and Hobbes are playing Calvinball. Calvin stole Hobbes' flag. Hobbes hit him with the Calvin ball. He has to sing the "I'm very sorry" song. Calvin protests he was in the "no song" zone. Hobbes corrects him, as he had touched the "opposite pole", so now the "no song zone" is a "song zone". Calvin complains that Hobbes didn't declare it. Hobbes says he declared it oppositely by not declaring it. Calvin starts singing, and Hobbes joins in. When they're finished, Calvin says he gets free passage to wicket five. Hobbes tells him they did that last time. Calvin makes up a new rule to jump until someone finds the bonus box. As they jump away, Calvin says the only permanent rule in Calvinball is that you can't play it the same way twice. Hobbes says the score is "Q to 12".
Appears In 26 AUG 1990 Script Gravity is arbitrary! Calvin wakes up one day to find he is immune to the force of gravity. He hangs on to the ground for dear life, but his grip is weakening! He can't hold on! He ... he let's go! Aaaaa. Higher and higher, as upward he falls! Only by grabbing the tail pin of a passing jet does Calvin save himself from being hurled out into space! No, no, let him finish. This is very interesting, so after you landed in Phoenix, what happened? Well, I don't care. I'm not sewing velcro on the outside of all his clothes. Well, about then my gravity came back, so I ...
Description Hobbes tells Calvin he just ran into the invisible sector. He has to cover his eyes. Calvin, playing Calvinball, didn't know they had an invisible sector. He asks where it is. Hobbes tells him he can't see it. It's invisible. He asks how to know he went into it. Hobbes says he can't see anything, right? He hits Calvin on the head with the Calvinball. He gets a point. Calvin chases him. He says Hobbes just ran into a vortex spot. He has to spin around until he falls down. Hobbes informs Calvin that spot is in the boomerang zone, so the vortex returns to who called it. Calvin has to spin. He claims that's not fair. Hobbes tells him he knows the rules. Calvin admits that anything they make up are the rules. Calvin spins himself dizzy while saying this game lends itself to certain abuses. Hobbes has the Calvinball. He asks Calvin to guess how he gets out of the boomerang zone.
Appears In 31 MAR 1991 Script It's true, Hobbes, ignorance IS bliss! Once you know things, you start seeing problems everywhere... ...and once you see problems, you feel like you ought to try to fix them... ...and fixing problems always seems to require personal change... ...and change means doing things that aren't fun! I say phooey to that! But if you're wilfully stupid, you don't know any better, so you can keep doing whatever you like! The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest! We're heading for that cliff! I don't want to know about it. WAAAUGGHHH! I'm not sure I can stand so much bliss. Careful! We don't want to learn anything from this.
Description Susie is playing, when Calvin comes over with a bucket. Calvin is wearing a mask. Calvin starts a poem. He tells Susie please do what she's told. There is a bucket, of water, ice cold. He says to please dump in on him, not to hesitate, do it A.S.A.P. Susie looks at him, while Calvin stands with eyes closed. Susie grins evilly. Calvin walks off with the bucket on his head, dripping water. Calvin shakes his fist at Hobbes. Calvin warns him to wait until he touches the "pernicious poem place". They're playing Calvinball.
Appears In 01 AUG 1993 Script I got a goal! OH, the score is oogy to boogy. I leady HAD oogy! You just ran into the invisible sector! You have to cover your eyes now, because everything is invisible to yoU! Invisible sector?? I didn't know we had an invisible sector! Where is it? You can't see it. It's invisible. How do I know I went in it then? You can't see anything, right? OK, so how do I get out? Somebody bonks you with the calvinball. I get another point! HEY! OW! WHY YOU... That was a rotten rule! I decree no more invisible sectors! ... in fact, I'll show YOU! YOU just ran into a vortex spot! You have to spin around until you fall down! Sorry, this vortex spot is in the boomerang zone, so the vortex turns to whoever calls it! YOU spin! THAT'S NOT FAIR! You know the calvinball rules. Yeah, yeah, anything we make up. Well, you'll pay for this. This game lends itself to certain abuses. Guess how you get out of the boomerang zone!
Description At night, Mom calls for Calvin, who's outside with Hobbes. Calvin tells Hobbes to start the stopwatch. Hobbes asks if he shouldn't answer Mom. Calvin says she doesn't see them, so she can't prove they heard her. Calvin says the trick is to listen for the tone of voice and answer before she gets mad enough to come looking for them. Mom calls again. Calvin says they now act innocent. He yells back, asking if Mom is calling for him. Mom says to come in, it's getting dark. Calvin tells Hobbes that was a tactical error, because darkness is relative. Calvin says it's not dark, because he can still see his hands. Calvin asks for another ten minutes, and Mom says no. Calvin asks for five minutes, and Mom says no. Calvin tells Hobbes she guessed his five minutes were her half-hour. He says they'll go for a fake agreement. He yells that he's coming in. He tells Hobbes they can stay out until Mom figures out he lied. Hobbes says they've dragged it out 53 minutes so far. Calvin is going for the record. He throws his shoe and says he lost it. Hobbes says every minute outside and awake is a good minute.
Appears In 15 AUG 1993 Script Calvin? Calvin? Calvin! Hmm... the engine's making funny noises. Spaceman Spiff is going down over Planet Gork! Zounds! The planet is inhabited! An alien metropolis opens up before our hero's eyes! Spiff's stabilizers refuse to respond! Our hero is going to crazh! THIS SPELLS DISASTER! CALVIN! ..uh... D... I... S... A... S... T... E... R. Very good. I'm glad you were paying attention. YES! Once again the incredible Spaceman Spiff beats all odds to save the day! You may sit down, Calvin.
Description Calvin and Hobbes hop out of bed. They read the paper, run outside to play, dig for dinosaurs, look under rocks for bugs, play Calvinball, fight, hit Susie with a water balloon, run from a snake, look at the moon, and catch fireflies. Mom drags Calvin inside to bed. Calvin says summer days are supposed to be longer, but they seem shorter to him. Hobbes says they didn't get to do half their itinerary.
Appears In 31 JULY 1994 Script The center snaps the ball to the quarterback! No he doesn't? NO! Secretly, he's the quarterback for the other team! He keeps the ball! A traitor! Calvin beaks for the goal! Whee! He's at the 30... the 20... the 10! Nobody can catch him! Nobody WANTS to! You're running toward your own goal! Huh?! When I learned you were a spy, I switched goals this is YOUR goal and mine's hidden! HIDDEN?! You'll never find it in a million years! I don't need to find it! As a traitor to your team, crossing MY goal counts as crossing YOUR goal! Ah, you might THINK so... In fact, I KNOW so! But the place I hid MY goal is right on top of YOUR goal, so the points will go to ME! But the fact is, I'm really a double agent! I'm on your team after all, which means you'll LOSE points if I cross your goal! Ha ha! But I'M a traitor too, so I'm really on YOUR team! I WANT you to cross my goal! The points will go to YOUR team, which is really MY team! That would be true... IF I were a football player! You mean...? I'm actually a badminton player DISGUISED as a double-agent football player!! And I'M secretly a volleyball-croquet-polo player! Sooner or later, all our games turn into Calvinball. No cheating!
Description
Appears In 07 SEPT 1995 Script So what's the game I get to play if I'm good? You decide. Pick your favorite game. Is this a trick? Can we really play my favorite game?? Sure, why not? What is it? CALVINBALL!! CALVINball?? Get out the time-fracture wickets, Hobbes! We're gonna play Calvinball! What the heck is Calvinball?
Description Calvin gets to choose the game to play. He asks if it's a trick, and Rosalyn tells him they can play his favorite game. He chooses Calvinball. Calvin tells Hobbes to get the time-fracture wickets. Rosalyn asks what the heck is Calvinball.
Appears In 08 SEPT 1995 Script And if I do all my homework, we get to stay up an extra half hour to play Calvinball! Oh boy! Here, you can double-check my math problems while I start on my history. We've got to get this done. You finished your math?? We're here to have a nice time. Try not to think about all the trouble Calvin's getting into. Did you hear that?? It sounded like another sier.
Description Calvin tells Hobbes that if he does all his homework, they get to stay up to play Calvinball. Calvin finishes his math homework and starts his history work. At the restaurant, Mom says they're there to have a nice time and not to think of what trouble Calvin's getting into. Dad spins around and says that sounded like another siren.
Appears In 09 SEPT 1995 Script I finished all my homework, just like you said to, Rosalyn. Great. are you ready to play your game then? First we need to make you a mask. A mask? what for? When you play Calvinball, you wear a mask. Why? Sorry, no one's allowed to question the masks. This sounds like a great game.
Description Calvin finishes his homework, and he says he has to make Rosalyn a mask. When she asks why, Calvin tells her no one is allowed to question the masks.
Appears In 11 SEPT 1995 Script Other kids' games are all such a bore! They've got to have rules and they gotta keep score! Calvinball is better by far! It's never the same! It's always bizarre! You don't need a team or a referree! You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me! If you wanna.... Uh, feel free to harmonize with Hobbes on the rumma tum tums. This was a mistake.
Description Calvin sings a Calvinball song about having a game that's never the same, it's always bizarre. It's named after him. He tells Rosalyn to harmonize with Hobbes on the rumma tum tums. Rosalyn thinks this was a mistake.
Appears In 12 SEPT 1995 Script I've got the Calvinball! Everybody else has to go in slow motion now! Wait a minute, Calvin. I don't... You have to TALK in slow motion liiike thisss. Thiisss gaaaame maaakes noooo sennnse! It'ssss aasss iffff you'rrrre maaakinnnggg iiiiit uuuup aaas youuu gooo. Hobbes! She stumbled into the perimeter of wisdom! Run!! OH...
Description Calvin has the Calvinball, so everyone has to go in slow motion. When Rosalyn tries to clarify what's happening, Calvin tells her she has to talk in slow motion. In slow motion, Rosalyn says this game makes no sense. It's as if he's making it up as he goes. Calvin says she's stumbled into the perimeter of wisdom. They run. Rosalyn now understands.
Appears In 24 SEPT 1995 Script I'm hungry, when's lunch? Right now. Hi, Susie! Oh look, you've got your stuffed tiger! Can I squeeze him? What are you crazy? Hobbes is a ferocious man-eating jungle beast! Ferocious? He looks fuzzy and cuddly to me! Ha! Beneath that soft exterior lie terrible mandibles of bone crushing death! He'll grind you into hamburger! Each mighty paw hides razor-sharp claws to rip the living hide off any human that wanders too close! He's a monster! No, he's not. He's a big cutie. Oh no! I can't look!! ... so what happened to the mandibles of death. You sissy furball?!? I was beguiled by her feminine charms. Yow. Go soak your head.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are playing football. Calvin doesn't snap the ball, because he's the quarterback for the other team. He's a traitor. Calvin heads for the goal. Hobbes says he's running the wrong way. When he learned Calvin was a spy, he switched goals. Calvin's is hidden. Calvin says as a traitor, crossing his goal counts as crossing Hobbes' goal. Hobbes says Calvin's goal is hidden right under Hobbes', so the points will go to him. Calvin says he's really a double-agent. Hobbes will lose points if Calvin crosses his goal. Hobbes retorts that he's also a traitor. The points will go to Calvin's team, which is really his team. Calvin admits that would be true, except he's really a badminton player disguised as a double-agent football player. Hobbes is secretly a volleyball-croquet-polo player. Calvin says sooner or later, all their games turn into Calvinball.
Appears In
Calvin & Hobbes : Copyright & All Rights Reserved by Bill Watterson and Andrews McMeel Universal
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This page is strictly a tribute to Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic ever, and two of the best characters who have taught me so much over many years. It is meant for research purposes only.