The center snaps the ball to the quarterback! No he doesn't? NO! Secretly, he's the quarterback for the other team! He keeps the ball! A traitor! Calvin beaks for the goal! Whee! He's at the 30... the 20... the 10! Nobody can catch him! Nobody WANTS to! You're running toward your own goal! Huh?! When I learned you were a spy, I switched goals this is YOUR goal and mine's hidden! HIDDEN?! You'll never find it in a million years! I don't need to find it! As a traitor to your team, crossing MY goal counts as crossing YOUR goal! Ah, you might THINK so... In fact, I KNOW so! But the place I hid MY goal is right on top of YOUR goal, so the points will go to ME! But the fact is, I'm really a double agent! I'm on your team after all, which means you'll LOSE points if I cross your goal! Ha ha! But I'M a traitor too, so I'm really on YOUR team! I WANT you to cross my goal! The points will go to YOUR team, which is really MY team! That would be true... IF I were a football player! You mean...? I'm actually a badminton player DISGUISED as a double-agent football player!! And I'M secretly a volleyball-croquet-polo player! Sooner or later, all our games turn into Calvinball. No cheating!