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23 MAR 1987
Hobbes, want to see my transmogrifier? I didn't know you had a transmogrifier. I just got it. You step into this chamber, set the appropriate dials, and it turns you into whatever you'd like to be. It's amazing what they do with corrugated cardboard these days. Isn't it?
Calvin asks Hobbes if he wants to see his transmogrifier. Calvin says he just got it, which is a cardboard box sitting upside down. He explains you just step in, set the dials, then turn into whatever you want. Hobbes is amazed at what they can do with corrugated cardboard these days.
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Something Under the Bed Is DroolingThe Essential Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


24 MAR 1987
This transmogrifier will turn you into anything at all. All you do is set this indicator, and the machine automatically restructures your chemical configuration. You can be an eel, a baboon, a giant bug, or a dinosaur. What if you want to be something else? I left some room, just write it on the side.
Calvin shows Hobbes that you can set the transmogrifier dial to whatever you want. He explains that the machine restructures your chemical configuration. You can be an eel, a baboon, a giant bug, or a dinosaur. The arrow on the side of the box can point to those choices. Hobbes wonders what happens if you want to be something else. Calvin explains he left some room, so you can just write it on the side.
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Something Under the Bed Is DroolingThe Essential Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


26 MAR 1987
Look, if you can't make up your mind, I'll go first and turn myself into something. I'll show you. But what's the point of turning yourself into something else? No one's done it! Think of the knowledge to be gained. What horrors we visit upon ourselves in the name of science. Ok, I'm in. set the dial on "lungfish" ... no make it "musk ox" ... no ...
Calvin is impatient with Hobbes. He says he'll go into the transmogrifier first. Hobbes wants to know what the point is to changing yourself into something else. Calvin tells him to think of the knowledge gained. Hobbes comments on what horrors we visit upon ourselves in the name of science. From inside the box, Calvin tells Hobbes to set it to "lungfish", then changes his mind to "musk ox", no wait...
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Something Under the Bed Is DroolingThe Essential Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


31 AUG 1987
Want to go time traveling with me? See, I built a time machine. This looks like your transmogrifier. To the inattentive and brainless layman, yes, but you crawl under the transmogrifier, whereas with the time machine, you climb in the top. Ahh.
Calvin wants to know if Hobbes wants to go time traveling with him. He has built a time machine. It's a box with "time machine" written on the side. Hobbes says it looks like his transmogrifier. Calvin says it does "to the inattentive, brainless layman". He points out that you crawl in the bottom of the transmogrifier, whereas you crawl in the top of the time machine.
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


08 FEB 1988
Look, Hobbes, the latest perfection in technology. A water pistol? Heck, no! this is the new improved version of the transmogrifier. Now you can transmogrify things just by pointing at them! Say you don't like the color of your bedspread. Well, you just zap it, and presto, it's an iguana! One can certainly imagine the myriad of uses for a hand-held iguana maker. It doesn't have to be an iguna. It can be anything. Suppose mom's getting on our nerves, for instance.
Calvin shows Hobbes the latest perfection in technology. Hobbes looks at it and asks "A water pistol". Calvin tells him it's the new, improved version of the transmogrifier. Now you just point at whatever you want to transmogrify. Calvin gives an example of not liking the color of your bedspread and presto, it's an iguana. Hobbes can imagine the myriad of uses of a hand-held iguana maker.
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


09 FEB 1988
How does the transmogrifier gun know what to transmogrify something into? Telepathy. The gun automatically reads the brain waves you emit, and turns the object into whatever you want. That's amazing. Well, it took me all morning to invent. So say I'm thinking about a big slab of grilled tuna now. Watch where you're pointing that! Watch where you're pointing that!
Hobbes asks how the gun knows what to transmogrify things into. Calvin replies "telepathy". The gun reads brain waves and turns the object into whatever you want. Calvin says it took him all morning to invent. Hobbes points the gun at Calvin. He says he's thinking about a big slab or grilled tuna. Calvin yells for him to watch where he's pointing the gun.
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


10 FEB 1988
Ok, let's test this transmogrifier gun. I want to be a pterodactyl, so you think of one and point the transmogrifier at me. This will be great. I'll terrorize the neighborhood awhile and then you can transmogrify me back to a boy when the national guard comes. What's a pterodactyl? Some kind of bug? No, no! it's a big flying dinosaur! Don't shoot me if you don't know what it is!!
Calvin wants to test the transmogrifier gun. He wants Hobbes to think of a pterodactyl. Calvin says he'll terrorize the neighborhood for awhile. Then, Hobbes can change him back into a boy when the National Guard comes. Hobbes doesn't know what a pterodactyl is. Hobbes asks if it's a bug. Calvin tells him it's a big flying dinosaur, but tells him not to shoot if he doesn't know what it is.
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


12 FEB 1988
Here's the transmogrifier gun. Now try again, and do it right. I want to be pterodactyl. Ok, here you go. Well, now that's more like it. Say when did you turn yourself into a 200-foot-tall colossus? I didn't why?
Calvin, the chicken, gives the gun back to Hobbes and tells him to try again. He says he wants to be a pterodactyl. ZAP! Calvin proudly looks at himself. He says that's more like it. We see Calvin as a minuscule pterodactyl next to Hobbes. Calvin asks when Hobbes turned himself into a 200-foot-tall colossus. Hobbes says he didn't, why?
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


14 FEB 1988
There! Now we're both transmogrified. We're even! Even?? We would be even only if turning a tiger into a duck was an improvement. This wasn't at all what I had in mind when I asked you to transmogrify me into a pterodactyl. Pterodactyls are big! So you turned me into a duck. Is that it? Fair's fair. Ok, I'll take the transmogrifier and fix you up right. Zap! Why you gimmie that gun! Thbbt! Zap! An insult! This is worse than before!! Zap! Zap! Zap! Great, just great. Which one of us is Calvin and which is Hobbes, huh? Well I hope Calvin is you, because his mom's going to have a fit when she sees this.
They bicker with each other. Hobbes grabs the transmogrifier gun and says he'll fix Calvin up right. ZAP! He turns Calvin into a big pig. Outraged, Calvin turns Hobbes into a monkey. Insulted, Hobbes zaps Calvin into a flower. Hobbes gets zapped into being an alligator. ZAP! Calvin is now an aardvark. Much later, they rest. Calvin is an owl, and Hobbes is a purple monster. The owl can't remember who is who. The purple monster tells him he hopes Calvin is the owl, because his Mom is going to have a fit when she sees this.
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


16 FEB 1988
What's wrong with the transmogrifier? Why won't it work?? You invented it. You tell me. Don't tell me I'm stuck as an owl for the rest of my life! I think owls mostly eat mice. I suppose we could catch some in the yard. This is awful! What am I going to do?! Uggh, I could never eat a mouse raw. Their little feet are probably real cold going down. Will you forget the stupid mice and help me think? I wonder if pet stores will sell you a mouse if you know you're going to eat it?
Calvin wonders why it won't work. Hobbes says that since Calvin invented it, he should tell Hobbes. Calvin worries about being stuck as an owl. Hobbes figures they can catch mice in the back yard for Calvin to eat. Calvin wonders what he'll do. Hobbes goes on to say he couldn't eat a mouse raw. He thinks their little feet are real cold going down. Calvin yells for Hobbes to forget about the mice and help him think. Hobbes scratches his head and wonders if a pet store will sell you a mouse if they know you're going to eat it.
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


18 FEB 1988
What am I going to do Hobbes? I can't be an own forever! How am I going to transmogrify back into a kid when the transmogrifier is broken? Maybe you should just learn to accept this predicament. It's not so bad being an owl instead of a kid. Actually it's probably better. Better?? How? Well I never quite knew how to say this before, but little boys don't smell so good.
Calvin is complaining that he can't be an owl forever. He asks Hobbes how he'll change back with the transmogrifier gun broken. Hobbes suggests he should just accept the predicament. He says it's probably better Calvin is an owl instead of a kid. Calvin shouts and wonders how it could be better. Hobbes tells him he didn't know how to bring it up before, but little boys don't smell so good.
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Yukon Ho!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


13 JULY 1988
Say, I wonder if I have any gum in my pocket. I could blow a big bubble, and ... Nope. No gum. Let's try THIS pocket. MY TRANSMOGRIFIER GUN!! Boy, these things come in handy all the time.
Calvin continues to fall. He thinks about having gum in his pocket, then blowing a big bubble. No gum in that pocket. He tries the other. He finds his transmogrifier gun. Calvin says those things come in handy all the time.
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Weirdos from Another Planet!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


14 JULY 1988
I forgot all about my transmogrifier gun! Now I have nothing to worry about! I'll just point it at myself and transmogrify! I'm safe! ZAP
As Calvin gets closer to the ground, he has nothing to worry about. He had forgotten his transmogrifier gun. He just points it at himself, and he's safe. ZAP! Calvin turns into a floor safe and continues plummeting to the ground.
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Weirdos from Another Planet!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


15 JULY 1988
Where have you been?? I've been calling and calling. You're dinner's cold, I'm sure. I drifted away on my balloon and it popped, but fortunately I had my transmogrifier, so after I mistakenly turned myself into a safe, I transmogrified into a light particle and zipped back home instantaneously. ... Of course, If I'd known we were having THIS, I wouldn't have hurried. Sometime you should try transmogrifying yourself into someone who occasionally makes an ounce of sense.
Mom and Dad are at the dinner table. Mom asks Calvin where he's been. Calvin explains that drifted away on his balloon which popped. Then, he remembered his transmogrifier gun. After mistakenly turning himself into a safe, he transmogrified into a light particle and zipped back home instantaneously. Calvin sits at the table. He looks at his meal. He then says that if he had known they were having that for dinner, he wouldn't have hurried. Mom tells him to sometime try transmogrifying into someone who occasionally makes an ounce of sense.
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Weirdos from Another Planet!The Authoritative Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


08 JAN 1990
Look, Hobbes, my newest invention! Isn't that your transmogrifier? It WAS. But I made some modifications. See, the box is on its side now. It's a duplicator! Ah. It combines the technologies of the transmogrifier and a photocopier, so instead of merely making a reproduction on paper, THIS machine actually creates a real duplicate! So our financial worries are over? And counterfeiting is just ONE of its many uses around the home!
Calvin asks Hobbes to look at his newest invention. It's a box, sitting open on its side. Hobbes asks if that isn't Calvin's transmogrifier. Calvin says that it was, but he made some modifications. It's now a duplicator. It combines the technologies of the transmogrifier and a photocopier. Instead of a reproduction on paper, you get a real duplicate. Hobbes asks if their financial worries are now over. Calvin tells him counterfeiting is just one of its many uses around the home.
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Scientific Progress Goes \The Indispensable Calvin And HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


29 JAN 1990
Boy, Mom sure did read ME the riot act, didn't she? I have an idea. Psst. Calvin! Is the cost clear? Did your Mom go away yet? Can we come out now? Oh no! Your Mom's coming back! There she is! Stay in the box, guys! Keep quiet! Yikes! Shh! Hobbes, you're a genius! I don't hear her. Do you? Hey, what's going on out there?
Calvin is depressed that Mom read him the riot act. Hobbes whispers a suggestion to Calvin, who smiles. From under the box, voices ask if Mom has left, if the coast is clear, and whether they can come out. Hobbes says Mom is coming back again. Calvin tells the duplicates to be quiet. Calvin calls Hobbes a genius, as Calvin changes the wording on the box from duplicator to transmogrifier.
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Scientific Progress Goes \The Indispensable Calvin And HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


30 JAN 1990
So long, duplicates! What do you mean? We're not going anywh... ZAP! What did you transmogrify them into? Worms! Worms?! Well, I didn't want them to be unhappy... Cool! Look at us! Ha ha! Let's go gross someone out!
Calvin says so long to the duplicates. From under the box, they start to say they're not going anywhere. Calvin turns on the transmogrifier. ZAP! Hobbes asks what he changed them into. Calvin tells him worms. He says he didn't want them to be unhappy.
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Scientific Progress Goes \The Indispensable Calvin And HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


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