Your search found 29 comics:27 MAR 1986 Script Rise and shine Calvin! Mfgpbthbbpt The early bird gets the worm! Big incentive.
Description Mom pokes her head into Calvin's room and tells him to rise and shine. As Calvin grumbles, she says the early bird gets the worm. Calvin doesn't think that's much of an incentive.
Appears In 28 DEC 1986 Script Toboggans give better rides than runner sleds. Why is that? There's no way to steer. On these cloudy winter days, sometimes I like to lie back on my sled and look at the sky. It's just gray and silent. No birds singing or bugs buzzing. Everything is muffled by the snow. Imagine what it would be like without any people or houses around. It would be perfectly still. Pretty neat huh? Yes, very peaceful. I hate all that silence.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are on the hill with their sled. Calvin says he sometimes likes to lie back on his sled and look at the sky. It's gray, no birds are singing, everything is muffled by the snow. He says without people or houses, everything would be perfectly still. Hobbes is on the sled, Calvin standing next to it. They both look into the sky. Calvin asks if Hobbes thinks that's pretty neat. Hobbes agrees that it's very peaceful. Calvin kicks the sled down the hill. As Hobbes yells in terror, Calvin says he hates all that silence.
Appears In 16 FEB 1987 Script Dad, did you do a mating dance when you first saw mom? A mating dance? Yeah, I saw some birds do it on TV. They went, "awk awk braau-auukkk!" yes, that's more or less how I reacted. To what, wise guy? ... think carefully.
Description Calvin asks Dad if he did a mating dance when he met Mom. Calvin explains he saw some birds do it on TV. Calvin shows how the birds looked, flapping his arms and making squawking noises. Dad says that's more or less how he reacted. Mom leans over the back of the chair Dad's sitting on and asks what he was reacting that way to.
Appears In 03 MAY 1987 Script Gosh it's perfect kite flying weather! But why let the stupid kite have all the fun? You've got your tail on? Yep, just let out some string and start running. That's it! Faster! Faster! I'm flying! I'm fl-ooof! Ow! Ack! Ooh! Are you ok? Boy, you were almost up there. I know! (ow) We just need a little more wind. Ok, here's another breeze! Let 'er rip! Oomph! Yow! Maybe you're too heavy. Gee, I hadn't thought of that. Hmm ... how can I get lighter? Mrs. Carroll says a naked kid tied to a stuffed animal is running through her yard. You handle it, I got the little nudist out of her bird bath remember?
Description Calvin ties himself up and Hobbes takes off running. Calvin is trying to fly like a kite. He crashes to the ground. Calvin thinks they need a bit more wind. Again he tries. Again he crashes. Hobbes suggests Calvin might be too heavy. Calvin wonders what he can do to make himself lighter. Mom answers a phone call from Mrs. Carroll. There is a naked kid tied to a stuffed tiger is running through her yard.
Appears In 03 OCT 1987 Script Where are you going with the toy telephone? Out in the woods, you can come along if you'd like. What are you going to do? Try some bird calls.
Description Hobbes asks Calvin where he's going with the toy telephone. Calvin tells him he's going out into the woods. Hobbes asks what he's going to do. Calvin replies that he's going to try some bird calls. Hobbes wraps the phone around Calvin.
Appears In 29 JAN 1988 Script Look, bird brain, you wasted the entire week in the library. We have to give our report on Monday. You'd better bust your butt over the weekend, or I'm telling the teacher you didn't do any work. Got it? ... well, what do you say?! Am I getting through to you?! This is important! Gronk! Gribble gok! Gak gork! Goonk!! Our hero regards the strange alien. ... it seems to be trying to communicate.
Description Susie warns Calvin their paper is due on Monday. He's goofed around all week. Susie tells him she'll let the teacher know she did all the work if he doesn't do his part over the weekend. Susie asks if she's getting through to him. Spaceman Spiff says the alien seems to be trying to communicate.
Appears In 08 JULY 1988 Script Well, I suppose things don't get worse than hanging from a helium balloon a mile above some unrecognized state. Of course, my grip could weaken, or I could get sucked into a jet intake. That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Description Calvin, now rightside up, supposes it doesn't get any worse than hanging from a helium balloon a mile over some unrecognized state. He thinks about it, and decides he could get sucked into a jet intake or his grip could weaken. As a bird comes near, he says that's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Appears In 20 JULY 1988 Script Look! Monkeys! See how they use their tails and feet to climb? Zoos let people see how wild animals really behave. Hey, look what THAT monkey's doing! Right in public, too! Ha ha! That's gross! How come I'M not allowed to do that?! Come look at the birds over here, Calvin.
Description Calvin runs over to the monkey cage. Mom shows him how monkeys use their tails and feet to climb. She says zoos let people see how wild animals really behave. Calvin's eyes get wide and he points at the cage. He says to look what the monkey is doing in public. He laughs, says that's gross, and asks how come he's not allowed to do that. Mom tells Calvin to come look at the birds.
Appears In 27 OCT 1988 Script Just think, Earth was a cloud of dust 4.5 billion years ago... 3 billion years ago, the first bacteria appeared. Then came sea life, dinosaurs, birds, mammals, and finally a million years ago, man. Now in 1988, there's me. ... the acme of evolution. Oh, PLEASE.
Description Calvin tells Hobbes the earth was a cloud of dust 4.5 billion years ago. He says 3 billion years ago, bacteria appeared. Then came sea life, dinosaurs, mammals, and a million years ago, man. Then he says that in 1988, there's Calvin. He calls it "The Acme of Evolution".
Appears In 24 JULY 1989 Script I'll bet I'm missing some great TV shows.
Description Calvin is sitting on a rock with Hobbes looking at the sun set. There are birds flying, a few clouds in the sky, rock outcroppings and woods all around. Calvin says he bets he's missing some great TV shows.
Appears In 21 AUG 1989 Script Calvin the hummingbird zips by with a loud whir! Although small, he puts out tremendous energy. To hover, his wings beat hundreds of times each second! What fuels this incredible metabolism? Concentrated sugar water! He drinks half his weight a day! ... preferably loaded with caffeine. Are you drinking more soda pop?!
Description Calvin the hummingbird, zips by with a whir. Though small, he puts out tremendous energy. Concentrated sugar water fuels his incredible metabolism. He drinks half his weight each day. Calvin says "Preferably loaded with caffeine" as he gets a soda from the refrigerator.
Appears In 22 MAR 1990 Script I sure like chocolate frosted sugar bombs! Look how brown the milk gets! Ugh. Want to see something weird? Look at the nutritional information on the back panel. Wow. 100% of the daily recommended allowance of caffeine! Hey look! You can send away for a chocolate frosted sugar bombs "Buzzy the Hummingbird" doll!
Description Calvin tells Hobbes how much he likes his Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. He shows Hobbes how brown the milk gets. Calvin points out something on the nutritional label. Hobbes notices the cereal provides 100% of the daily recommended allowance of caffeine. Calvin notices an offer to send for a "Buzzy the Hummingbird" doll on the side panel of the box.
Appears In 08 MAY 1990 Script And so, having eaten her fill, the mother bird returns to her nest... ...where she regurgitates the worms to feed her hungry brood.
Description Calvin is watching a nature show on TV. The show talks about the mother bird, having eaten her fill, returning to the nest to regurgitate the worms to feed her hungry brood. Calvin is startled. At the dinner table, he looks at the plate of food Mom gives him with distrust.
Appears In 11 NOV 1990 Script Toboggans give better rides than runner sleds. Why is that? There's no way to steer. On these cloudy winter days, sometimes I like to lie back on my sled and look at the sky. It's just gray and silent. No birds singing or bugs buzzing. Everything is muffled by the snow. Imagine what it would be like without any people or houses around. It would be perfectly still. Pretty neat huh? Yes, very peaceful. I hate all that silence.
Description Calvin is yawning, making odd faces, frowning, making pucker faces, sticking his tongue out, sticking his finger in his nose, lifting the ends of his mouth, and pulling his face. Dad and Mom are looking at pictures. Dad says that's their son. Mom says these pictures will remind them of more than they want to remember.
Appears In 04 FEB 1991 Script Look what I made, Hobbes. What is it? What IS it? Why, it's a huge bird foot. I'm going to press it in the snow and make everyone think a two-ton chickadee walked by. I guess time weighs more heavily on some people's hands than others'. He's just jealous because I accomplish so much more than he does.
Description Calvin shows Hobbes a bird foot he made. He tells Hobbes he's going to press it in the snow and make everyone think a two ton chickadee walked by. Hobbes suggests time weighs more heavily on some people's hands than others'. As Calvin presses the bird foot into the snow, he says Hobbes is just jealous because he accomplishes so much more than Hobbes.
Appears In 25 JULY 1991 Script Rise and shine Calvin! Mfgpbthbbpt The early bird gets the worm! Big incentive.
Description
Appears In 02 AUG 1992 Script Look, a dead bird! It must've hit the window. Isn't it beautiful? It's so delicate. Sighhh... once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that. ...which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's very confusing. I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up. No doubt.
Description Dad's riding his bike, commenting how he's outside in the fresh air (as a truck drives by throwing a can out the window) with no distractions (as a swarm of bugs surrounds him), nothing but quiet (as dogs snap at him) and a chance to get a feel for the land (as he falls off the bike). He's happy for the opportunity to reflect on things (as he holds his sore rear end). As he gets home, Dad says getting out like that makes the rat race seem ridiculous. Dad tells Mom he's thinking about quitting his job and riding his bicycle all the time. Mom suggests Dad call the bike shop to sponsor his mid-life crisis.
Appears In 08 NOV 1992 Script We got some new snow last night! Let's look for animal tracks! Here are some bird tracks. Look, you can see wing impressions where they took off! And these are rabbit tracks. Looks like they were going pretty fast. No wonder! Look at THESE tracks! Something was chasing them all over the place! Hmm... big pads... could be a wolf. But there are no clan impressions. It's more like a bobcat, or a mountain lion, or... or... This explains the cold wet feet in my bed this morning. The snow was falling and I thought, "The birds and the rabbits around here need some exercise."
Description Mom watches Calvin go to school in his raincoat and cap. Once outside, Calvin takes the raincoat and cap off and splashes in all the puddles on the way to the bus stop. It's raining the entire time. Calvin sits dripping at his desk. After school, he comes home carrying his raincoat and cap. He splashes in the puddles again. He puts his raincoat and cap on, then goes into his house. Mom takes the rain gear off. Calvin then sneezes.
Appears In 05 JUNE 1993 Script You know why birds don't write their memoirs? Because birds don't lead epic lives, that's why! Who'd want to read what a bird does? Nobody, that's who! This is changing the subject, but have you ever noticed how somebody can say something totally loony and not be aware of it? What are you supposed to do, just let it slide?? Sometimes if you wait, he'll top himself. I say just punch 'im then and there!
Description Calvin asks Hobbes why birds don't write their memoirs. Calvin says nobody would want to read what a bird does. Calvin then asks Hobbes if he's noticed how some people can say something loony and not be aware of it. He asks if you're supposed to do. Hobbes offers that if you wait, he'll top himself.
Appears In 16 SEPT 1993 Script I'm doing a crossword puzzle. Number three across says "Bird". Hmm... I've got it! "Yellow-bellied sapsucker"! But there are only five boxes. I know. These idiots make you write real small.
Description Calvin is doing a crossword puzzle. The clue says "bird". Calvin thinks it's "yellow-bellied sapsucker". Hobbes points out there are only five boxes. Calvin says these idiots make you write real small.
Appears In 19 SEPT 1993 Script Wow, honey, you're missing a beautiful sunset out here. I'll count to 10, and then... POW! Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have color film back then? Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs ARE in color. It's just that the WORLD was black and white then. Really? Yep. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too. That's really weird. Well, truth is stranger than fiction. But then why are old PAINTINGS in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way? Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane. But... but how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn't their paints have been shades of gray back then? Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the '30s. So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too? Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember? The world is a complicated place, Hobbes. Whenever it seems that way, I take a nap in a tree and wait for dinner.
Description Calvin sees a dead bird. Calvin says once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize life is fragile, and nature is ruthless. Calvin says you go on with your daily affairs, not thinking about it. He thinks that's why everyone takes the world for granted and act so thoughtlessly. He supposes it will all make sense when they grow up. They sit under a tree and watch birds flying.
Appears In 09 JAN 1994 Script YAWNN... I'm going to get some coffee, Ted. Want any? No thanks, Frank. Tum te ta ta tum... BLAM! GAKK AIEEE!! They got Frank!! RUN. You got 'im! He's a big one, too! Nice shot, Bamb. Somebody get the camera! ... needless to say, Frank's family was upset when he didn't come home that night, but everybody understood that the human population had doubled in just two generations to almost six billion, so some thinning of the herds was necessary to prevent starvation. Another parent-teacher conference. Your turn.
Description Calvin and Hobbes look for animal tracks in the new snow. Calvin notices bird and rabbit tracks. He sees the animals were chased by something. Calvin notices the big pads, so it might be a wolf. There are no claw impressions, so maybe it's a mountain lion. Or maybe Hobbes. Calvin says that explains the cold wet feet in bed that morning. Hobbes talks about how he felt the animals needed some exercise.
Appears In 07 APR 1994 Script I sure like chocolate frosted sugar bombs! Look how brown the milk gets! Ugh. Want to see something weird? Look at the nutritional information on the back panel. Wow. 100% of the daily recommended allowance of caffeine! Hey look! You can send away for a chocolate frosted sugar bombs "Buzzy the Hummingbird" doll!
Description
Appears In 15 AUG 1994 Script Calvin the hummingbird zips by with a loud whir! Although small, he puts out tremendous energy. To hover, his wings beat hundreds of times each second! What fuels this incredible metabolism? Concentrated sugar water! He drinks half his weight a day! ... preferably loaded with caffeine. Are you drinking more soda pop?!
Description
Appears In 09 OCT 1994 Script See any weirdness yet? How about this rock? It has a purple stripe. Hmm... I guess that's a LITTLE weird. We'll look for something weirder. What do you think of this stick? It's a strange stick, but not a weird stick. It's too bad there aren't any good bugs out now. Yes, bugs are usually weird. Hey, here's a bird feather. It's pretty. But it's not weird. A bald bird would be weird. I don't see one. Look! A ripped-up old kite! Some kid must have lost this last summer! Phooey. The string broke here. I was hoping we'd find the kid's skeleton up a tree at the other end. THAT would be weird. Well, let's go in. I'm cold. Me too. I guess some days weirdness is hard to find. My glasses are fogged and I can't blow my nose, but my heart rate is the envy of men half my age! Weirdness always starts at home. Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it.
Description
Appears In 07 JUNE 1995 Script When birds burp, it must taste like bugs. Nobody ever pays me a penny for my thoughts.
Description Sitting under a tree, Calvin tells Hobbes that when birds burp, it must taste like bugs. Hobbes leaves. Calvin says nobody ever pays a penny for his thoughts.
Appears In 20 JULY 1995 Script BU-UURRPPP. THPTHH! PHTBT! THBBPPTT! BU-UURRRPP. What are you doing? I'm hoping there's a mockingbird around.
Description Calvin belches. He blows on his hands to make a bodily sound. He burps again. Hobbes asks what he's doing. Calvin cheerfully says he's hoping there's a mockingbird around.
Appears In 03 DEC 1995 Script I spelled "Be" how many points do I get? Um ... 2 points. 2 points?! Is that @*#%! all?? My, this game does teach new words! See, I spelled "zygomorphic" on a triple word score box. That's 150 points. All I've got is consonants. Your turn. Well, if I use your letter "I" I can spell "in". That's 3 points. I pick out some new letters ... hmm ... with your "n", I can spell "nucleoplasm" that's, lets see, 40 points. All I've got is consonants. I'm not going to play this stupid game! I hate it!! What a waste of time! What should we play instead? Let's play poker. At least with cards you have half a chance. Ok, I bet a nickel. I'll see you ... and raise you 8 dollars.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are looking for weirdness. Hobbes finds a rock with a purple stripe. Calvin finds a stick. It's strange, but not weird. There are no bugs out, so nothing there. Calvin finds a bird feather. Hobbes says it's pretty, but not weird. Calvin sees a ripped-up old kite stuck in a tree. Calvin was hoping to find the kid's skeleton at the end of the string. Hobbes thinks that would be weird. They decide to go inside. Hobbes says some days, weirdness is hard to find. Just then, Dad rides by on his bicycle. He's all bundled for the cold. Dad says his glasses are fogged, and he can't blow his nose, but his heart rate is the envy of men half his age. Calvin says weirdness always begins at home. Hobbes says even when you look for it, you're not prepared for it.
Appears In 17 DEC 1995 Script Toboggans give better rides than runner sleds. Why is that? There's no way to steer. On these cloudy winter days, sometimes I like to lie back on my sled and look at the sky. It's just gray and silent. No birds singing or bugs buzzing. Everything is muffled by the snow. Imagine what it would be like without any people or houses around. It would be perfectly still. Pretty neat huh? Yes, very peaceful. I hate all that silence.
Description Going down the hill on the sled, Calvin wants to try a different path. He tells Hobbes change is invigorating. If you don't accept new challenges, you become lazy. Change forces them to experiment and adapt. That's how they learn and grow. As they sail off the edge of the hill, Calvin says there's a fresh challenge. Hobbes admits it's opened up new horizons. Stuck in the snow, Hobbes says new experiences are rarely the ones they choose.
Appears In
Calvin & Hobbes : Copyright & All Rights Reserved by Bill Watterson and Andrews McMeel Universal
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This page is strictly a tribute to Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic ever, and two of the best characters who have taught me so much over many years. It is meant for research purposes only.