Your search found 51 comics:11 JAN 1986 Script We'll Hobbes, we did it again. We're separated from the troop and hopelessly lost. Fortunately, our motto is "Be prepared." With this full backpack we can stay out here for weeks! Just so long as we don't get hungry.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are on a Cub Scout trip, but are hopelessly lost again. Calvin replies that he's always prepared. With his full backpack, they can stay out for weeks. As Hobbes grabs one of the dozens of comic books from the backpack, he comments that they can do that as long as they don't get hungry.
Appears In 06 SEPT 1986 Script I'm going to hang around the drugstore all afternoon and eat candy and read comic books! Oh, no, you're not! Why not?! Because I'm your mother and I said so. Get back in here. And you can stop goose-stepping around the house!
Description Calvin heads out the door of his house. He tells Mom that he's going to the drugstore to eat candy and read comic books all afternoon. Mom grabs him and says he isn't going. When asked why not, Mom tells him that she's his mother and she said so. She then has to yell to Calvin to quit goose-stepping around the house.
Appears In 29 MAY 1987 Script I'm home. I'm home. I'm home! Wellll? So you're home.
Description Calvin peeks in the front door and says he's home. He steps in the house and says he's home in a louder voice. He walks through the house yelling that he's home. Hobbes is sitting in bed, reading a comic book. Calvin yells "WELL??". Hobbes replies "So you're home".
Appears In 17 SEPT 1987 Script Well, I guess we're all packed. Comic books, dart gun, space helmet and toboggan! We're off to the Yukon! Do we have a map? Ooh, that's right! Glad you remembered! I'll go get one! Don't we have any road maps of the Yukon, Mom? I doubt it. Ok, here's the Yukon. Now see if you can find the United States. Here they are! Look how close it is! This won't take any time at all!
Description Calvin finishes packing. They're ready to go. Hobbes asks if Calvin has a map. Calvin looks for one and asks Mom if they have a road map of the Yukon. She doubts it. Finally, Calvin and Hobbes look at a globe. They find the Yukon. Hobbes finds the United States and comments on how close they are. He figures the trip will take no time at all.
Appears In 19 SEPT 1987 Script This sled is heavy. I thought we were going to ride it most of the way to the Yukon. We've only been walking 20 minutes, Hobbes. We probably won't get to northern Canada until this afternoon. In that case I'm taking a break. Good idea, want a comic book? Here's Captain Nitro. I want a sandwich. We just have one apiece. We should save 'em in case we can't catch a walrus.
Description Hobbes complains the sled is heavy. He thought they'd ride it most of the way to the Yukon. Calvin tells Hobbes they've only been walking twenty minutes. He doesn't think they'll get to northern Canada until that afternoon. They decide to take a break. Calvin pulls out Captain Nitro. Hobbes wants a sandwich. Calvin tells him they only have one apiece. He thinks they should save them in case they can't catch a walrus.
Appears In 24 OCT 1987 Script I called your teacher about Moe's bullying and she said she'd put a stop to it. I'm afraid you wasted your time Mom. Moe took one look at Hobbes and just about lost his lunch! I don't think Moe will be bothering me for a while. It's not every kid who has a tiger for a best friend. ... and what lucky mom's those kids have. C'mon Hobbes, if you'll lend me a buck, I'll buy you a comic book.
Description As Calvin enters his house, Mom tells him she called his teacher to put a stop to Moe's bullying. Calvin tells her she wasted her time. He tells her that when Moe saw Hobbes, he almost lost his lunch. Calvin figures Moe will leave him alone now. It's not every kid who has a tiger for a best friend. Mom says "and what lucky moms those other kids have". Calvin tells Hobbes that if he'll loan Calvin a buck, he'll buy him a comic book.
Appears In 25 NOV 1987 Script Are you going to live the last few months of your life differently, now that the Sun is going out and we're all doomed? No, I've always believed in living each day as if it was my last so I never have any regrets. Kind of inspiring huh? If you were someone else it might be. Pass me that issue of Captain Napalm will you?
Description Hobbes asks if Calvin is going to live his last few months any differently since the sun is going out. Calvin tells him he's always believed in living each day as if it were his last, so he has no regrets. Calvin thinks that is inspiring. Hobbes says it would be if he were someone else. As Calvin sits reading comic books and eating cookies, he asks Hobbes to pass the issue of Captain Napalm.
Appears In 01 JAN 1988 Script Whap! I'm glad to see you're inside. It's handy not to have to boots and a coat to take off.
Description Calvin is smacked on the back of his head with a snowball. He falls into the snow. He looks around for who the attacker was, but sees no one. He goes into the house. Hobbes is lying on the sofa, reading a comic book. Calvin walks by, snowball on head, and says he's glad Hobbes is inside. Hobbes sheepishly looks up and thinks it's handy to not have boots and a coat to take off.
Appears In 04 JAN 1988 Script I hate waiting for the school bus on days like these. Blustery cold days should be spent propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books. That's what I'd like to be doing right now. As soon as I graduate, I'm going to spend every winter that way. I wish you bus would come my hot chocolate will get cold.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are huddled in the wind. Calvin says he hates waiting for the school bus on days like this. Calvin believes blustery days should be spent with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books. That's what he'd like to be doing right now. Calvin says that as soon as he graduates, he'll spend every winter that way. Hobbes hopes the bus will come soon. His hot chocolate will get cold.
Appears In 17 JAN 1988 Script I've got to go in. Another five minutes out here, and I'll be frozen solid. Ooh, I hope that was no one I knew. You looked pretty cold coming up the hill, so I fixed you some hot chocolate and crackers with peanut butter. Go wrap up in a blanket and take these in front of the fire. Here's Hobbes and a comic book. Getting toasty? Uh huh. Thanks. She even put marshmallows in the chocolate. Nobody knows how to pamper like a mom. So are you going to eat all those peanut butter crackers yourself, or what?
Description Calvin comes in from the snow. Mom fixed him some hot chocolate and crackers with peanut butter. She tells him to wrap up with a blanket and to take the food in front of the fireplace. She brings Hobbes and some comic books. After Mom leaves, Calvin notices she even put marshmallows in the hot chocolate. He says "nobody knows how to pamper like a Mom". Hobbes wants to know if Calvin is going to eat all those peanut butter crackers himself, or what.
Appears In 16 APR 1988 Script Eight, nine, ten! Here I come, ready or not! All right, give 'em back!
Description Calvin and Hobbes are playing hide-and-seek. Hobbes counts to ten, while Calvin hides behind a barrel. After some time, Calvin realizes. He goes back into the house to catch Hobbes sitting on the floor reading comic books.
Appears In 30 MAY 1988 Script Don't move! There's a bee on your back! There is? Showw it away! Quick! And have it come after ME? No, thanks. Well, what am I supposed to do? Stand like this all day? I guess you don't have much choice. Do you? Great. Just great. I could be here forever! Say, that gives me an idea. Don't you go reading my comic books! Stay out of my room!
Description Hobbes tells Calvin not to move, there's a bee on his back. Calvin tells him to shoo it away. Hobbes doesn't want it coming after him. Calvin asks if he's supposed to stand there all day. Hobbes tells him he doesn't have any choice. Calvin says he could be there forever. Hobbes gets an idea. Calvin yells for him to stay out of his room and not to read his comic books.
Appears In 31 MAY 1988 Script That rotten Hobbes! I can't move because I've got a bee on my back, so he goes to read all my comic books. He always gets them out of order, and he folds the covers back! Ooh, if I could only move! What kind of a friend would take advantage of a predicament like this? A lousy friend, that's what kind! What a stinker he is! Hey, did you see how the latest issue of Captain Napalm ended? Don't tell me! Don't tell me!
Description Calvin is still standing there complaining that Hobbes is reading his comic books while he's stuck with a bee on his back. Calvin complains Hobbes gets the comics out of order and folds the covers back. He asks what kind of friend would take advantage of a predicament like that. He answers himself by saying a lousy friend would. He calls Hobbes a stinker. Hobbes comes up reading a comic book. He asks Calvin if he's seen how the latest issue of Captain Napalm ended. Calvin yells for him not to tell.
Appears In 01 JUNE 1988 Script Hobbes, if you tell me how my comic book ends, I'll kill you. I've waited all month to find out. I'll give you a hint, OK? Captain Napalm takes his nuclear ... NO HINTS! NO HINTS! By golly, you hairball, if I didn't have a bee on my back right now, I'd ... Maybe there's a bee and maybe there isn't. I'LL never tell. WHAT?! Is the bee gone? Can I move? Tell me! Is it still there?? Huh? Rrggh! Is it?!
Description Calvin threatens Hobbes that he'll kill him if he tells him how the Captain Napalm issue ends. He's waited all month to find out. Hobbes starts to give Calvin a hint, but Calvin tells him no hints. Calvin says that if there wasn't a bee on his back, he'd... Hobbes says maybe there is a bee on him, maybe there isn't. Calvin is flustered. Now he doesn't know if he can move or not.
Appears In 05 JULY 1988 Script There's quite a breeze up here. I'm really moving. There's the river and the town triangle. HEY, DOWN THERE! My name is Calvin! Tell my tiger, Hobbes, I'm blowing away on a balloon! CAN ANYONE HERE ME? TELL HOBBES HE CAN'T READ MY COMIC BOOKS JUST 'CAUSE I'M NOT AROUND, OK? ... OH YEAH, TELL MY PARENTS WHAT HAPPENED TOO, ALL RIGHT? HELLO? HELLO?
Description Calvin is really moving with his balloon. He sees the river and the town triangle below. Calvin yells down for someone to tell his tiger that he's blowing away on a balloon. He yells to see if anyone can hear him. He adds to tell Hobbes that he can't read Calvin's comic books, just because he isn't there. Finally, he adds to tell his parents what happened.
Appears In 18 JULY 1988 Script Let's go, Calvin! We're all ready! Boy, I haven't been to the zoo in ages. And Calvin's never been there. This will be fun. I've been telling him about it all week. He's so excited. C'MON, CALVIN! So WHERE do we have to go now? Beats ME. Mom and Dad are always dragging us to SOME dumb place.
Description Dad calls up the stairs for Calvin. They're ready to go to the zoo. Dad hasn't been to the zoo in ages. Mom says Calvin never has been. Mom has been telling Calvin about the zoo trip all week. She says he's so excited. Dad yells up again for Calvin. Calvin and Hobbes are in his room reading comic books. Hobbes asks where they have to go now. Calvin says it beats him. He says Mom and Dad are always dragging them some dumb place.
Appears In 22 SEPT 1988 Script Well, this is our new home. I guess we should unpack and set up camp. Comic books... comic books... tuna... some candy bars... more tuna... toothbrushes... a can opener... looks like we're all set. What's this? A night light. I thought it might be scary sleeping on a new planet. Boy, you thought of everything. Now we have to find an outlet.
Description Calvin decides to unpack and set up camp. They have comic books, candy bars, tuna, a can opener, and toothbrushes. They're all set. Hobbes brought along a night light. He thought it might be scary sleeping on a new planet. He goes off looking for an outlet.
Appears In 18 OCT 1988 Script I get to stay home from school today. I get to lie in bed, drink tea, and read comic books all day. I wish I could do this every day. ... like some people I know. Your Mom doesn't bring ME tea in bed.
Description Calvin is lying in bed. He says he gets to stay home from school. He gets to lie in bed, drink tea, and read comic books all day. He says he wishes he could do that every day...like some people he knows. He looks over at Hobbes, who's also in bed with comics.
Appears In 25 NOV 1988 Script Watch out, Mom. I'm in a bad mood. Be in a bad mood somewhere else, OK? I'm busy. Hmph! I'll bet my biological mother would've bought me a comic booka nd made me feel better instead of shunning me like YOU. Kid, anyone BUT your biological mother would've left you to the wolves long ago. Yeah, right. Really, how much did you pay for me?
Description Calvin warns Mom he's in a bad mood. Mom, working in the kitchen, tells Calvin to be in a bad mood elsewhere. She's busy. Calvin looks back over his shoulder and says his biological mother would have bought him a comic book and made him feel better instead of shunning him like she did. Mom crouches down to tell Calvin anyone but your biological mother would have left him to the wolves long ago. Calvin doesn't believe her and asks how much she paid for him.
Appears In 17 APR 1989 Script HIC HIC HIC (hic) I have (hic) have (hic) I (hic) I have the (hic) the (hic) ... the hic (hic) the (hic) What is it? What do you have? A dollar?? A new comic book? What?? The (hic hic) I have (hic) the (hic) the hic (hic) the (hic) ... I love doing this.
Description Calvin is hiccupping. He walks over to Hobbes to tell him. Each time he tries to say he has hiccups, he can't finish the sentence. Hobbes starts asking him what he has. He asks if Calvin has a dollar, a comic book, what? Calvin continues to try to tell Hobbes, but he keeps hiccupping. Hobbes, with an impish smile, says he loves doing this.
Appears In 02 DEC 1989 Script Doing homework? Yeahhhh.... Boy, you missed the show. I just got a big lecture from Mom just because I got stuck on the ceiling and then grew so big I fell off the planet when I was supposed to be doing my math! Gee, THAT'S not very fair. You said it. Here, how about helping me hurry up with these problems? Sure! Tigers are great at math! Now what do these little horizontal lines mean? That's a minus sign. Let me know when you're done, OK? I'll be reading comic books.
Description Calvin tells Hobbes he missed the show. He tells him he got a big lecture because he got stuck on the ceiling and then grew so big he fell off the planet when he should have been doing math. Hobbes doesn't think that isn't fair. Calvin asks for help on his homework. Hobbes says tigers are good at math. He asks what the little horizontal lines mean. Calvin tells him it's a minus sign. He tells Hobbes to let him know when he's done. Calvin is going to be reading comic books.
Appears In 14 DEC 1989 Script Look, Hobbes, no one SAW us fighting, right? This can be OUR little SECRET, OK? Santa doesn't have to know about this, right? Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. OK, OK, I'll even apologize! I'm sorry. How's that? See, it's OK to fight just a little bit if you say you're sorry afterward. You bit and kicked. I SAID I was sorry! What more do you want?! You could let me read all your comic books. OVER MY DEAD BODY! "Dear Santa, know what Calvin did today?"
Description Calvin stops again and tells Hobbes that since no one saw them fighting, it can be their little secret. He says Santa doesn't have to know about this. Hobbes isn't sure if Santa does or not. Calvin apologizes to Hobbes. Hobbes replies that Calvin bit and kicked. Calvin says he apologized and wonders what else Hobbes wants. Hobbes says Calvin could let him read all his comic books. Calvin replies "Over my dead body". Hobbes pretends to write Santa a note about what Calvin did today.
Appears In 17 DEC 1989 Script There. Now we need to get this on the roof. SANTA --- WEIGHTED DOWN WITH EXTRA TOYS? DROP 'EM OFF HERE! --- CALVIN. I've been thinking. They say Santa knows if you've been bad or good, right? Right. But think how many kids there are in the whole world! Nobody could be watching every kid every single minute! I mean, Santa's OLD! He probably takes naps! THe way I figure it, Santa must just make a few random checks on us once or twice a week. That's all? Sure. He'd catch enough bad kids that way to scare everyone else into being good most of the time. He'd create the impression he's watching more than he really is! Pretty shrewd. Yeah, but now that I'm on to him, I'm going to smack Susie with a snowball! If I do it quick, the odds of Santa watching me at that exact moment are virtually nil! What if Susie tells on you? Ooh, I didn't think of that! She's a girl, so she probably WOULD snitch! Phoeey. Well, I sure hope Santa's watching now, seeing as I'm being so good. Unwillingly good, but good nonetheless.
Description Hobbes brings Calvin a letter from the "North Pole". Calvin opens the note and reads that he's a rotten little kid, he's obviously the naughtiest kid in the whole world, but he has seven days to get on the "good boy" list. The note suggests being kind to animals. Perhaps an animal who would like a snack soon, or one who could read his comic books sometime. It's signed "Santa Claws". Calvin recognizes the handwriting. It is from Hobbes. Calvin offers Hobbes a knuckle sandwich for a snack.
Appears In 04 FEB 1990 Script AAAAAA I think these comic books he reads are much too grim. Must be! Just look at him twitch.
Description Sledding down the hill, Calvin says television validates existence. The sled ride is fleeting and elusive. By tomorrow, they will have forgotten it, and it may as well have not happened. If they were on TV, countless viewers would share in the event and confirm it. This sled ride would become part of mass consciousness. On TV, the impact of an event is determined by the image, not its substance. With strong visuals, their sled ride could make them cultural icons. Instead of being boring ol' Calvin and Hobbes, they could be "Calvin and Hobbes - as seen on TV". They fly off the edge of the hill. Hobbes says at this moment, he likes his anonymity. Calvin thinks they should go for the high-brow public TV audience.
Appears In 15 MAR 1990 Script Mom! Hobbes is reading my comic books! Tell him to stop! I told him to go buy his own, and he SNaRLED at me! Make him give 'em back! Maybe you should be glad he's more literate than most stuffed animals. But they're MY comic books, not HIS! Well, you should learn to share. I don't think Hobbes will hurt them. Are you kidding?! He drew a mustache and glasses on every picture of nuke-man last issue! In PeN! Why don't you go play outside, Calvin?
Description Calvin tells Mom that Hobbes is reading his comic books. He wants her to stop Hobbes. He says he told Hobbes to get his own comic books, but Hobbes snarled at him. Mom says he should be glad Hobbes is more literate than most stuffed animals. Calvin complains that they're his comics. Mom tells him he should learn to share. She doesn't think Hobbes will hurt them. Calvin throws up his hands in frustration. He tells Mom that Hobbes drew glasses and a mustache on every picture of Nuke-Man last issue...in pen. Mom tells Calvin to go play outside.
Appears In 16 MAR 1990 Script How's your math coming? I don't DO math any more. I decided I'm more of a "visual" person. Good. Visualize being the only 45-year-old in first grade. Visualizing a few sums now, eh? Actually, I'm visualizing YOU in traction. Help me do these, OK?
Description Calvin is lying on his bed reading a comic book. Dad asks how his math is coming. Calvin informs him that he doesn't do math anymore. He's more of a "visual" person. Dad tells him to visualize being the only 45-year-old in first grade. Calvin is doing his homework and Hobbes comes over to ask if he's visualizing sums now. Grumpily, Calvin tells him he's visualizing Hobbes in traction.
Appears In 29 APR 1990 Script Ready? Let me check what the deductible is on my insurance policy... Munch munch. Would you care for a soft dring? OK. H-h-here y-you a-a-are! Any dessert? No, thanks. We'll be landing shortly. The captain has turned off the seat belt sign. Thank you for choosing Calvin's flight Z40 non-stop to Stoney Gulch. Next time I won't take the dinner flight.
Description Calvin returns home and remembers how Hobbes pounces on him. He gets an idea to make a broomstick Calvin to fool Hobbes. He sets the stick Calvin on the porch and calls "I'm home". Hobbes opens the door, grabs the fake Calvin, then asks if he can read Calvin's comic books. Calvin ties to open the door, but it's locked. He hears Hobbes ask to draw mustaches on all the superheroes. Calvin sits on the front porch saying he'll get him for this if it takes his whole life.
Appears In 24 JUNE 1990 Script What's that smell? Either mom's cooking dinner, or somebody got sick in the furnace duct. Boy, does it stink in here! What are you cooking for dinner?! Whatever it is I'm not eating it. I'm stewing some monkey heads. Monkey heads? They'll be soggy enough to eat in about twenty minutes. Really?? We're having monkey heads! We are not ... are those really monkey heads? I've never had monkey heads before! I wonder what they're like. Wow! Monkey heads! Mm ... kinda squishy. Oow look, is that a nose? What's this? Brains? I didn't think they'd be so rubbery ... what? I thought these were stuffed peppers. Honey. What the heck is this?? Whatever it is I'm not eating it!
Description Calvin and Hobbes are tumbling, drawing pictures, chasing a frog, in their treehouse, playing baseball, reading comic books, swinging, playing treasure hunt, and playing in the sandbox. Mom asks Calvin to empty a bag into the garage trash can. Calvin complains some vacation this summer is.
Appears In 11 AUG 1990 Script YAAH! Oops. He just does that to show he COULD'VE snuffed me.
Description Calvin is sitting on the floor, reading a comic book. Suddenly, Hobbes pounces down right in front of Calvin, startling him. Hobbes says "oops". As Hobbes walks off, Calvin says he just does that to show that he could have snuffed him.
Appears In 11 SEPT 1990 Script Hey, no comic books until you finish your homework. I DID finish. That didn't take very long. Did you do a good job? I did a GREAT job. When you're as far ahead of the class as I am, it doesn't take much time. We'll see about that when I get back from my parent-teacher conference with Miss Wormwood. You're going to talk to my teacher? I'm sure it will be an informative meeting. Gosh, I forgot to tell you! Miss Wormwood said I was so good, you didn't need to bother coming, really! She said you don't have to go!
Description Mom tells Calvin he can't read comic books until he's finished his homework. Calvin says he is finished. Mom asks if he did a good job, since it didn't take very long. Calvin tells her that when you're as far ahead of the class as he is, it doesn't take long. Mom says she'll see about that when she gets back from her parent-teacher conference with Miss Wormwood. Shocked, Calvin says she doesn't need to bother going. He says Miss Wormwood said he was so good, she didn't have to go.
Appears In 25 JAN 1991 Script If we go fast enough and pull up just as we hit those rocks, we might, if we're lucky, clear the ravine and have the ride of our lives! On the other hand, if we miss, we'll probably spend our few remaining days hooked up to machines and intravenous fluids! It's either spectacular, unbelievable success, or crushing, hopeless defeat! There's no middle ground! OK, there IS a middle ground, but it's for sissy weasels.
Description Calvin and Hobbes sit on the toboggan at the top of the hill. Calvin speculates that if they go fast enough and pull up just as they hit the rocks, they might clear the ravine and have the ride of their lives. He goes on to say if they miss, they'll spend their remaining days hooked up to machines and intravenous fluids. He raises his fist and says it's either spectacular, unbelievable success, or crushing, hopeless defeat. There is no middle ground. Later, inside the house, Hobbes is lying in front of the fireplace reading a comic book. Calvin walks up to him and admits there is a middle ground, but it's for sissy weasels.
Appears In 24 MAR 1991 Script I never get to do anything REALLY fun. If you're bored, go clean your room.
Description There is a paw. Calvin sits in the distance, reading a comic book. There is the top of a tiger's back. Calvin is closer, still reading. There is a top view of a tiger's body. Calvin is closer, still reading. A tiger is crouching. Calvin turns around to see Hobbes with fangs bared. Calvin is horrified, and he yells. He clutches Mom's shoulder, while she tells Dad the comic books he reads are too grim. Dad says to look at Calvin twitch. Hobbes is on the floor beneath them.
Appears In 04 MAY 1991 Script They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time. But since you never know when the right TIME is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right PLACE, and just hang around! Being with you, it's just one epiphany after another. And if the right place is in front of the drug store, we could read comic books while we wait!
Description Riding down the hill in their wagon, Calvin says they say the secret of success is being in the right place at the right time. Since you never know when the right time is going to be, he figures the trick is to find the right place, then just hang around. Hobbes comments that being with Calvin is just one epiphany after another. Calvin says if the right place is in front of the drug store, they could read comic books while they wait.
Appears In 30 MAY 1992 Script Ah ha! Here we are, right at 7:30! Yikes! My past and my future! Put down that comic book and do our homework! Yeah! Get to work, you loafer! Hey! Why should I do all the work? Either of you could do it too! But I didn't at 6:30 and now it's 7:30. And at 8:30 it will be too late. You're the last chance. Now are you gonna start writing or do we have to pound you? Go ahead and hit me! My FUTURE self will be the one who hurts! HEY!
Description The two Calvins catch the 7:30 Calvin reading a comic book. The 7:30 Calvin asks why he should do all the work. The others could do it, too. The 6:30 Calvin asks if the 7:30 Calvin will start writing or does he have to pound him. The 7:30 Calvin tells him to go ahead. It will be the future Calvin who hurts. The 8:30 Calvin isn't so sure about this.
Appears In 20 JULY 1992 Script The best thing about Captain Steroid comic books is that every issue is number one. Every issue?? Sure! That way they're ALL collector items! These will be worth billions of dollars some day! Of course, they're so cheaply printed you have to preserve them in plastic bags, but it's a small investment for such a huge guaranteed return. Gosh, and I keep buying bonds. Look at the great committee that drew THIS issue!
Description Calvin is glad the Captain Steroid comic has every issue as issue number one. He says that way, they're all collector items. He says they're so cheaply printed you have to preserve them in plastic bags. That's a small investment for such a huge guaranteed return. Hobbes says he keeps buying bonds. Calvin shows Hobbes the great committee that drew the issue he has in hand.
Appears In 21 JULY 1992 Script Mom, Hobbes takes my comic books and reads them before I do! Make him stop! Um... He spoils all the good parts too! He yells out what's happening while he's reading. He goes, "Oh no, Captain Steroid is getting his kidneys punched with an I-Beam! Oh gross, now he's bleeding all over the..." Let me see this comic book. NOW DON'T YOU READ IT FIRST!!
Description Calvin complains to Mom that Hobbes reads his comic books before he does. He says Hobbes yells out what's happening while he reads. Calvin quotes from one of his comics. It involves Captain Steroid getting punched in the kidneys with a I-beam and bleeding all over. Mom asks to see the comic book. Calvin is afraid she'll read it first.
Appears In 22 JULY 1992 Script Mom doesn't understand comic books. She doesn't realize that comic books deal with serious issues of the day. Today's superheroes face tough moral dilemmas. Comic books aren't escapist fantasy. They're sophisticated social critiques. Is Amazon girl's super power the ability to squeeze that figure into that suit? Nah, they can all do that.
Description Calvin, reading a comic beneath the tree, tells Hobbes that Mom doesn't understand comic books. Calvin says they deal with serious issues of the day. He says comic book aren't just escapist fantasy, but they're sophisticated social critiques. Hobbes asks if Amazon Girl's super power is the ability to squeeze her figure into her suit. Calvin tells her they all can do that.
Appears In 09 SEPT 1992 Script What's with the umbrella and backpack? My motto is "Be Prepared". Prepared for what? One never knows. I've got a dart gun, five comic books, some gum, a wrench, a book on bugs, a map of Montana, an eraser, and a rock. Gee, EVERYone should carry a kit like this. The umbrella doubles as a parachute.
Description Calvin is standing with an umbrella. He says his motto is "be prepared". He has a dart gun, comic books, gum, a map of Montana, and a few other things. Hobbes says everyone should carry a kit like that. Calvin says the umbrella doubles as a parachute.
Appears In 18 SEPT 1992 Script OK, there's a picture of me looking well-adjusted and playing sports. That ought to do it. You hate sports. Yeah, but people believe what they see, and now we've got a photographic document of a fake childhood ready for any future biographical needs I may have! Pretty shrewd planning, huh? Except for one detail. Suppose the photographer doesn't keep quiet? You drive a hard bargain, flea-bait. Ooh, now Maggot-man is about to reveal his secret identity to Amazon-babe!
Description Calvin gets a picture of him looking well-adjusted and playing sports. Hobbes says Calvin hates sports. Calvin says people believe what they see. Now he has a document of a fake childhood ready for any future biographical needs. He thinks that's pretty shrewd. Hobbes asks what happens if the photographer doesn't keep quiet. Later, Calvin grumbles about Hobbes driving a hard bargain as Hobbes reads Calvin's comic books.
Appears In 10 OCT 1992 Script I'M IN A VERY BAD MOOD, SO NOBODY'D BETTER MESS WITH ME TODAY, BOY!! Here, I got you a new comic book. Why don't you just sit on the couch and I'll make you some peanut butter crackers. Are you comfy? Um, I guess so. Mom knows EVERYTHING.
Description Calvin yells that he's in a bad mood. Mom gets Calvin a comic book. She says he should sit on the couch, and she'll bring him some peanut butter crackers. Calvin decides Mom knows everything.
Appears In 28 NOV 1992 Script I've noticed that comic book superheroes usually fight evil maniacs with grandiose plans to destroy the world. Why don't superheroes go after the more subtle, realistic bad guys? Yeah, the superhero coiuld attend council meetings and write letters to the editor, and stuff. Hmm... I think I see the problem. "Quick! To the bat fax!"
Description Calvin notices comic superheroes fight maniacs with plans to destroy the world. He wonders why they don't go after more realistic bad guys. Hobbes says the superhero could attend council meetings and write letters to the editor. Calvin sees the problem.
Appears In 22 DEC 1992 Script Here! It's a comic book! It's MY comic book. But you can read it. Just make sure your hands are clean and acid-free, and only touch the mylar bag, and use these sterilized tongs to turn the pages, and try not to exhale too much moisture, OK?! Don't mess it up! THERE! That's one spontaneous act of good will! I hope you're satisfied. Santa! Darn you!! I think spontaneous acts of good will should be less reluctant. RELUCTANT ONES QUALIFY!!
Description Calvin hands Hobbes a comic book. He says he can read it. Calvin tells him to be sure his hands are clean, and that he use sterilized tongs to turn the pages. Calvin proclaims one act of good will. Hobbes thinks spontaneous acts of good will should be less reluctant.
Appears In 15 APR 1993 Script Ahh, spring! I say let's move on to summer.
Description Calvin is happy it's spring. Suddenly, the wind blows, and it starts to rain. Calvin runs inside the house. He grabs his comic book and says they should move on to summer.
Appears In 30 APR 1993 Script With my great slogan and your great artwork, this traffic safety poster is a shoe-in for first prize! A solid foundation of anatomical study is essential for the artist. What should we spend the prize money on? Of course, technical skill alone isn't enough. A picture needs depth of feeling. I think I'll blog it all on jaw breakers and comic books. I'll draw some stars to show pain and human suffering. When you've got talent like ours, the world is your oyster.
Description As Hobbes draws the poster, Calvin figures they'll win first prize. Hobbes says a solid foundation of anatomical study is essential for the artist. Calvin wonders what to spend the prize money on. Hobbes says a picture also needs depth of feeling. Calvin thinks he'll spend it all on jaw breakers and comic books. Hobbes will draw stars to show pain and human suffering. Calvin says with talent like theirs, the world is their oyster.
Appears In 24 MAY 1993 Script Little joys of life. 1. Reading a new comic book. 2. Petting a happy dog. 3. Getting a letter in the mail. 4. Eating the marshmallows in hot chocolate. 5. Smiling when a big kid calls you a nasty name... and then punching his teeth straight down his ugly neck. You really pull the ol' heartstrings. Some of these I haven't personally experienced, sad to say.
Description Calvin writes the little joys of life. Petting a dog, reading a comic book, smiling when a kid calls you a nasty name and you punch his teeth down his neck. Hobbes reads Calvin's list and says he pulls the ol' heartstrings.
Appears In 21 AUG 1993 Script Here Calvin, I brought some lunch for you and Hobbes. Gee thanks, Mom. What do you say we break out the comic books while we think up our big plans? Oh boy! It's looking like a good afternoon, ol' buddy. I love summer.
Description Mom brings Calvin some lunch. They decide to read comic books in their treehouse. Calvin says it's looking like a good afternoon.
Appears In 20 FEB 1994 Script Get going or you'll miss the school bus. Uh... greetings. My name is Calvin. POOF. Grittings. Ma name is Kahlfin. Grittings. Ma nam is Kahlfin. Um... yes! Well Calvin, here's your lunchbox. Have a good day at school. Hoffa gud tay. Lunboks. Hi Calvin. Grittings. Ma nam is Kahlfin. Heeryor lunkboks. Hoffa gut tay askool. Calvin's principal says to say hello. Huh boy. It troo! Dat darn Kahlfun stole ma spacechip!
Description Two superheroes, one man and one woman, are fighting. He hits her, while she blasts him with a distortion blaster. Calvin stops reading his comic book and walks off in a daze. He turns on television. Mom turns it off and tells Calvin there is too much violence on TV. She tells him to read something.
Appears In 13 SEPT 1994 Script Hey, no comic books until you finish your homework. I DID finish. That didn't take very long. Did you do a good job? I did a GREAT job. When you're as far ahead of the class as I am, it doesn't take much time. We'll see about that when I get back from my parent-teacher conference with Miss Wormwood. You're going to talk to my teacher? I'm sure it will be an informative meeting. Gosh, I forgot to tell you! Miss Wormwood said I was so good, you didn't need to bother coming, really! She said you don't have to go!
Description
Appears In 16 JAN 1995 Script Some days you get up and you already know that things aren't going to go well. They're the type of days when you should just give in, put your pajamas back on, make some hot chocolate, and read comic books in bed with the covers up until the world looks more encouraging. Of course, they never let you do that. Is today one of those days? IT SURE IS!!
Description Waiting for the bus, Calvin tells Hobbes you get up some days and know some things aren't going to go well. Calvin says those are the days you should put your pajamas back on, make hot chocolate, and read comic books in bed until the world looks more encouraging. Grumpily, Calvin says they never let you do that. Hobbes asks if today is one of those days. Calvin yells that it sure is.
Appears In 31 JAN 1995 Script Ahem. WAA! I HATE, I JUST HATE RETRACTABLE CLAWS!! So are you through reading this?
Description Calvin is reading a comic book. Hobbes sneaks up behind Calvin and says "ahem". Calvin is startled and jumps up. He says he just hates retractable claws.
Appears In 01 MAR 1995 Script Look Hobbes, this is my retirement fund. A comic book? This is the issue where they introduce the arch-villain "Deathmeister"! In a few years, a rare mint copy of this will be worth millions of dollars! Needless to say, I bought five copies, sealed them in airtight plastic bags, and put them in a box in the closet, where the light and humidity won't affect their precious pages! How will these be rare and valuable if every kid in America has five copies? We're all counting on the other guy's Mom to throw them away.
Description Calvin shows Hobbes his retirement fund. It's a comic book where they introduce the archvillain "Deathmeister". Calvin says a mint copy of this will be worth millions. Calvin bought five copies, sealed them in airtight bags, and put them in the closet so light and humidity won't affect the pages. Hobbes asks how rare they will be if every kid in America has five copies. Calvin replies they're all counting on the other guys' mom to throw them away.
Appears In
Calvin & Hobbes : Copyright & All Rights Reserved by Bill Watterson and Andrews McMeel Universal
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This page is strictly a tribute to Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic ever, and two of the best characters who have taught me so much over many years. It is meant for research purposes only.