Your search found 61 comics:29 APR 1986 Script The tyrannosaurus lumbers across the prehistoric valley ... the terrifying lizard is three stories tall, and his mouth is filled with six-inch chisels of death! With a few mighty steps, the dinosaur is upon a tribe of fleeing cavemen. He devours them one by one! Araragh! Aaieee! Aaughh! Calvin, eat your popcorn quietly!
Description The tyrannosaurus lumbers across the valley. He's three stories call with six-inch teeth. He comes upon a tribe of cavemen trying to flee. He devours them one by one. Calvin is roaring as he drops popcorn into his mouth. Mom yells at him to eat quietly.
Appears In 12 OCT 1986 Script Were there dinosaurs when you were a kid, dad? Oh sure! Your grandfather and I used to put on our leopard skins and hunt Brontosaurus for all the clan rituals. Listen, buster, I think Calvin's grades are bad enough already, don't you? The horrifying Tyrannosaurus lumbers across the prehistoric valley. The mighty dinosaur is a walking death machine! Only one other creature dares to challenge the terrible Tyrannosaurus! ... the savage Saber-Toothed Tiger! Gg mmf yow gzzzz mkn gbzz, yow. Wake up! The meek Tyrannosaurus victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the prehistoric valley.
Description The tyrannosaurus lumbers through the valley. He's a walking death machine. Only one other creature dares challenge him, the saber-toothed tiger. Hobbes is peacefully sleeping. He rolls from side-to-side while Calvin awaits with mouth open. Finally, Calvin yells for Hobbes to wake up. The meek tyrannosaurus, victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the valley.
Appears In 06 FEB 1987 Script Uh oh. There's a dinosaur in the kitchen. Well if you see Calvin anywhere, tell him it's almost time for dinner. I'd invite you, but no dinosaurs are allowed at the dinner table. Ha. Dinosaurs eat anywhere they want.
Description Calvin comes growling into the kitchen. Mom says there's a dinosaur in the kitchen. She asks the dinosaur to tell Calvin it's almost time for dinner. She mentions she would invite the dinosaur to eat, but that dinosaurs aren't allowed at the dinner table. Calvin growls out of the kitchen into the dining room. He thinks dinosaurs eat anywhere they want.
Appears In 24 MAR 1987 Script This transmogrifier will turn you into anything at all. All you do is set this indicator, and the machine automatically restructures your chemical configuration. You can be an eel, a baboon, a giant bug, or a dinosaur. What if you want to be something else? I left some room, just write it on the side.
Description Calvin shows Hobbes that you can set the transmogrifier dial to whatever you want. He explains that the machine restructures your chemical configuration. You can be an eel, a baboon, a giant bug, or a dinosaur. The arrow on the side of the box can point to those choices. Hobbes wonders what happens if you want to be something else. Calvin explains he left some room, so you can just write it on the side.
Appears In 17 MAY 1987 Script This is supposed to be great art. ... so why does it look like a bunch of decapitated naked people? A strange feeling comes over Calvin in the art museum. His parents, engrossed in culture, remain blissfully unaware of Calvin's terrible transformation! Yes, a tyrannosaurus is loose in the art museum! The curator shrieks and pandemonium ensues! A guard reaches for his pistol, but the dinosaur is upon him and he is messily devoured! The giant lizard's glory is captured forever on film by the anti-theft cameras! Patrons of the arts flee for their lives! Hundreds of priceless paintings are ripped to shreds in the awful rampage! Wealthy benefactors are trampled! The museum is in ruins! On to symphony hall!! Calvin? Calvin? Were in the next room now. C'mon. I think we'd better get him out o fhere. He had that grin again. I wanna see dinosaurs at the natural history museum again. We spent all afternoon there, Calvin.
Description Calvin is at the museum. He transforms into a dinosaur. A tyrannosaurus is loose in the museum. Panic ensues. A guard reaches for his gun, but is messily devoured. Patrons of the arts flee for their lives. Priceless paintings are ripped to shreds, wealthy benefactors trampled, and the museum is in ruins. Dad tells Calvin they're in the other room now and to join them. Calvin has a sinister grin on his face. Dad tells Mom they better get him out of there, he has that grin again. Calvin wants to see the dinosaurs at the natural history museum. Mom tells him they spent all afternoon there.
Appears In 08 SEPT 1987 Script I must say, the future is quite a bit different than I expected. This breeze is so hot and muggy. I figured they'd be able to control the weather by now. The air stinks, too. I guess there's still pollution. Ever feel as if you're being monitored? ... or that you're about to do a double-take?
Description Calvin admits the future looks a bit different from what he expected. Hobbes says the breeze is hot and muggy. He thought they'd have figured out a way to control weather by now. Calvin says the air stinks, too. Calvin asks if Hobbes has ever felt like he's being monitored. Hobbes adds "or that you're about to do a double-take". Behind them is the face of a dinosaur looking at them.
Appears In 09 SEPT 1987 Script Aaugh back to the time machine! Run! We must've gone back in time instead of forward! What tipped you off? The dinosaur?! Don't get smart, fuzzbrain. Just get in and face the other direction so we can go into the future this time! You mean we went into the past because we were facing the wrong way!! You think I've got some triple-a map?! Maybe you'd like to steer this time!
Description They see a huge brachiosaur standing behind them. Off they run to the time machine. Calvin suggests they must have gone backward in time instead of forward. Hobbes asks if it was the dinosaur that tipped him off. They jump into the time machine, and Calvin tells Hobbes to face the other way to they go forward in time instead of backward. Hobbes asks Calvin if the reason they went back in time was because they were facing the wrong way. Calvin shouts back that he doesn't have a Triple-A map. He suggests maybe Hobbes would like to steer.
Appears In 10 SEPT 1987 Script We made it! It's a good thing the time machine didn't stall, or we'd have been eaten by dinosaurs! We're coming back toward the present now. Do you want to stop at home or keep going into the future like we planned? I've had enough time traveling, let's go home. Let's go just a little into the future and see what I'm like as a teen-ager! Let's not, all right?
Description They're now flying forward in time. Calvin sees they're approaching the present. He asks if Hobbes wants to go forward in time like they planned, or did he want to stop. Hobbes has had enough time traveling. He opts for home. Calvin tries to convince Hobbes to go a little into the future to see what Calvin is like as a teenager. Hobbes doesn't want any part of that.
Appears In 11 SEPT 1987 Script Hi, Mom. Hobbes and I went time traveling and visited the Jurassic period today. That's nice. What's it like? Pretty scary. A dinosaur almost ate us. Actually, we were trying to go into the future, but we made a mistake. I see, well, I'm glad you made it back. Your mom isn't fazed by much is she? It depends, she didn't take the frogs in the toilet so well, remember?
Description Mom is gardening when Calvin comes over and tells her he and Hobbes went time traveling to the Jurassic period today. She asks what it was like. Calvin tells her it was scary, and they almost got eaten by a dinosaur. Calvin admits they were trying to go to the future, but made a mistake. Mom is glad he made it back. Hobbes is surprised that didn't faze Mom at all. Calvin reminds him that she didn't take the frogs in the toilet.
Appears In 09 DEC 1987 Script Behold the terrible thunder lizard, Tyrannosaurus Rex! The fiercest dinosaur of all, he is twenty tons of bone crushing muscle and razor sharp teeth! Always the victor, he lets out a triumphant roar!
Description Behold the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The fiercest dinosaur is twenty tons of bone-crushing muscle and razor-sharp teeth. He lets out a triumphant roar. Calvin is kicked out of the library.
Appears In 07 FEB 1988 Script I'm going outside! I'll be out back if anyone wants me! I'll probably be gone a couple hours! I'm leaving now! I'm going! So long! Se you later! Bye! Stomp stomp stomp. Hey Susie, look! I found dinosaur tracks! Pretty scary, huh? I'll be you didn't know there were dinosaurs in this neighborhood! Especially not dinosaurs with size 5, treaded toes.
Description Calvin jumps into the snow, stomping out patterns. When he's finished, he tells Susie he found dinosaur tracks. Calvin says it's pretty scary with dinosaurs in the neighborhood. Susie walks off saying the dinosaur tracks are made with size five, treaded toes. Calvin imagines being the dinosaur throwing a snowball at Susie.
Appears In 10 FEB 1988 Script Ok, let's test this transmogrifier gun. I want to be a pterodactyl, so you think of one and point the transmogrifier at me. This will be great. I'll terrorize the neighborhood awhile and then you can transmogrify me back to a boy when the national guard comes. What's a pterodactyl? Some kind of bug? No, no! it's a big flying dinosaur! Don't shoot me if you don't know what it is!!
Description Calvin wants to test the transmogrifier gun. He wants Hobbes to think of a pterodactyl. Calvin says he'll terrorize the neighborhood for awhile. Then, Hobbes can change him back into a boy when the National Guard comes. Hobbes doesn't know what a pterodactyl is. Hobbes asks if it's a bug. Calvin tells him it's a big flying dinosaur, but tells him not to shoot if he doesn't know what it is.
Appears In 13 FEB 1988 Script You transmogrified me into a tiny pterodactyl?? Big dinosaurs give me the willies. You numbskull! How am I goinig to terrorize the neighborhood like this?? My, aren't you the cranky one today? By golly, I'll show you! Ha ha! serves you right! You, my friend just made a big mistake.
Description Now Calvin complains that he's a tiny pterodactyl. Hobbes says big dinosaurs give him the willies. Calvin asks how he's going to terrorize the neighborhood like that. Hobbes accuses him of being cranky today. Calvin grabs the gun and says he'll show Hobbes. ZAP! Hobbes, the duck, says Calvin just made a big mistake.
Appears In 13 MAR 1988 Script The late Cretaceous period ... when dinosaurs ruled the Earth! And Calvin ruled the dinosaurs! The terrible Tyrannosaurus sinks it teeth into a triceratops! Triumphant again, the undisputed king of dinosaurs let's out a mighty roar! With savage ferocity, the monster begins it's feast! Limb-severing, bone-crushing, and tendon-snapping, he ... Calvin! That's disgusting! For heaven's sake, slow down and chew quietly! The terrible Tyrannosaurus resumes eating, mortified that someone might see him.
Description The tyrannosaurus sinks his teeth into the triceratops. The king of dinosaurs lets out a mighty roar. The monster begins its feast. It severs limbs and snaps tendons. Mom and Dad tell Calvin to chew slower and quieter. The terrible tyrannosaurus continues eating, mortified that someone might see him.
Appears In 06 MAY 1988 Script Wow! I can't believe we found a dinosaur skull on our very first archealogical dig. It's completely intact, too! What a discovery! Maybe the rest of the skeleton is nearby! Yeah! If we can find the whole thing, we'll be world famous! With the grant money we'll get, we can buy a Porsche! How will THIS look on the cover of National Geographic?
Description Calvin can't believe they found a dinosaur skull on their first archeological dig. Hobbes wonders if the rest of the skeleton is nearby. Calvin says that if they find it, they'll be world famous. Calvin thinks the grant money can buy a Porsche. Hobbes thinks his smiling face would look good on the cover of National Geographic.
Appears In 09 MAY 1988 Script Gosh, look at all the dinosaur bones we discovered. Let's glue them together so we can see how they fit. Then you can draw a reconstruction of the actual dinosaur. After that, we'll write up our findings, and get them published in a scientific journal. Then we'll win the Nobel prize, get righ, and go on talk shows. What about babes? When do we get those?
Description Calvin looks at all the bones they dug up. He suggests they glue the parts together to see how they fit. Then, they'll draw a reconstruction of the dinosaur. After that, they'll write up their findings and be published in a scientific journal. They'll win the Nobel prize, get rich, and go on talk shows. Hobbes wonders about when they get babes.
Appears In 10 MAY 1988 Script Well. Here's the complete skeleton as near as I can figure out. Try to draw the dinosaur as it really looked with muscles and skin. What's it doing? Whistling? You tell me. Maybe it's puckering up.
Description Calvin finishes constructing the bones together how he thinks they should be. He asks Hobbes to draw the dinosaur as it really looked, with skin and muscles. Hobbes finishes the picture. Since the "dinosaur" has a Coke bottle for a skull, Hobbes' picture has the mouth open. Calvin wonders if it's whistling. Hobbes isn't sure, it might be puckering up.
Appears In 11 MAY 1988 Script See the dinosaur skeleton we discovered and assembled? I'm going to call the natural history museum and tell them they can have it for ten billion dollars. Those are ... um ... peculiar bones. Do you think I should ask for more money? That's not QUITE what I meant.
Description Calvin shows Mom the skeleton he and Hobbes dug up. Calvin is going to call the Natural History Museum and offer it to them for ten billion dollars. Mom thinks those are peculiar bones. Calvin asks if he should ask for more money. That wasn't quite what Mom meant.
Appears In 12 MAY 1988 Script Mom says she doesn't think we've found a skeleton at all. She says we just dug up some trash somebody littered. Our dinosaur is a fraud. I guess it wouldn't be right to sell it to a museum then. Not at full price, anyway.
Description Calvin tells Hobbes that Mom doesn't think they found a skeleton at all. Mom says they just dug up some trash someone littered. Calvin says their dinosaur is a fraud. Hobbes laments that it wouldn't be right to sell the skeleton to a museum. Calvin suggests not at full price, anyway.
Appears In 14 AUG 1988 Script Dinosaurs everywhere flee for their lives! Calvin is coming. The late cretaceous: the last epoch of the mighty dinosaurs. King of the thunder lizards is the fearsome Calvin, the tyrannosaurus! Seven tons of muscle and teeth, he searches for his prey! Calvin, for goodness sake, stop stomping around! You're driving me crazy! OW! CHOMP! How did the fearsome tyrannosaurus become extinct? Now we know!
Description Calvin, the tyrannosaurus, is king of the thunder lizards. Seven tons of muscle and teeth searches for prey. Mom sees Calvin hunched over with teeth bared. She tells him to stop stomping around. He's driving her crazy. Suddenly, Calvin bites Mom on the leg. As she chases him, Calvin asks how the fearsome tyrannosaurus became extinct. Now we know.
Appears In 31 AUG 1988 Script Oh, no! There's a tyrannosaurus in the grocery store! The dinosaur heads for the meat department and devours the butcher! Shoppers everywhere flee for their lives! It's mayhem, destruction and carnage, in the aisles! Oh, no! Calvin, can't I take you ANYWHERE?! Now the tyrannosaurus wants cookies!
Description There's a tyrannosaurus in the grocery store. It heads for the meat department and devours the butcher. Shoppers flee for their lives. It's mayhem, destruction, and carnage in the aisles. Mom sees Calvin has knocked cans off the grocery shelves. She asks if she can't take him anywhere. Calvin, arms out and teeth bared, now wants cookies.
Appears In 27 OCT 1988 Script Just think, Earth was a cloud of dust 4.5 billion years ago... 3 billion years ago, the first bacteria appeared. Then came sea life, dinosaurs, birds, mammals, and finally a million years ago, man. Now in 1988, there's me. ... the acme of evolution. Oh, PLEASE.
Description Calvin tells Hobbes the earth was a cloud of dust 4.5 billion years ago. He says 3 billion years ago, bacteria appeared. Then came sea life, dinosaurs, mammals, and a million years ago, man. Then he says that in 1988, there's Calvin. He calls it "The Acme of Evolution".
Appears In 19 NOV 1988 Script The tyrannosaurus stalks the cretaceous shores. The 5-ton carnovorous lizard can run faster than a charging rhino! What could be more horrifying? STOP THAT CLOMPING AROUND!! ... besides the blood-curdling roar of its Mom...
Description The tyrannosaurus stalks the ground. The five-ton carnivorous lizard can run faster than a rhino. What could be more horrifying? The dinosaur hears "Stop that clomping around". Calvin, hunched over with teeth bared, says "besides the blood-curdling roar of its Mom".
Appears In 19 MAR 1989 Script Sighhhhh WHAP sighhhhhh....
Description Calvin is sleepy and sighs at his school desk. Suddenly, the desk grows into a dinosaur. Calvin hops onto the dinosaur as it runs out of the school. Miss Wormwood smacks Calvin's desk with a stick, and he wakes up. Gradually, his eyes close again and he sighs. This time, he's flying on the back of a pterodactyl.
Appears In 09 AUG 1989 Script There's the stegosaurus out front! There's the National History museum. Hooray! I can't wait to see all the dinosaurs! C'mon. Let's hurry! It's certainly been a while since we've been here, hasn't it? At the museum's request, yes. Oh, that's right. Calvin, no biting people this time, remember? RROWRR
Description The family drives up to the Natural History Museum. Calvin sees the stegosaurus in front. Calvin can't wait to see the dinosaurs and rushes from the car. Mom says it's been a while since they were at the museum. Dad mentions that was at the museum's request. That reminds Mom, who tells Calvin not to bite anyone this time. Calvin is already roaring like a dinosaur.
Appears In 10 AUG 1989 Script What kind of dinosaur did you say this was? It's a stegosaurus! He looks pretty ferocious. No, he was a plant eater. The tail spikes were for self-defense. Oh. Did tyrannosaurs fight these? Of course not, Mom! Turannosaurs came millions of years later! Look, try not to embarrass me when we go inside, OK? Why are we going here if he already knows everything?
Description Mom asks Calvin what kind of dinosaur they're in front of. Calvin tells her it's a stegosaurus. Mom says it looks ferocious, but Calvin tells her it was a plant eater. He tells her the tail spikes were for self-defense. Mom then asks if tyrannosaurs fought them. Calvin tells her of course not. Tyrannosaurs came millions of years later. Calvin walks to the building telling her not to embarrass him when they go inside. Dad wonders why they're going in if he knows everything already.
Appears In 12 AUG 1989 Script Look, Mom. The museum has a gift shop! Can I buy something? They've got dinosaur models, dinosaur T-shirts, dinosaur posters... I don't think you need any more dinosaur stuff, Calvin. But Mom, it's all EDUCATIONAL! You want me to LEARN, don't you?? Boy, she fell for THAT one. I'll say! I wonder if we could get any Batman junk this way.
Description Calvin points out the museum gift shop to Mom. He wants to buy something, a poster, a book, t-shirts, models. Mom says she doesn't think he needs any more dinosaur stuff. Calvin says it's all educational. Doesn't she want him to learn? Calvin, walks with his dinosaur hat, poster, and book. Hobbes says she sure fell for that one. Calvin wonders if he can get any Batman junk that way.
Appears In 18 OCT 1989 Script Calvin, your Mom and I looked over your report card, and we think you could be doing better. But I don't like school. Why not? You like to read and you like to learn. I know you do. I mean, you've read every dinosaur book ever written, and you've learned a lot, right? Reading and learning are fun. Yeah... So why don't you like school? We don't read about dinosaurs.
Description Dad tells Calvin that he and Mom looked over his report card and think he could do better. Calvin says he doesn't like school. Dad explains that Calvin likes to read and likes to learn. He knows Calvin has read every dinosaur book ever written, and he learned a lot. He says reading and learning are fun. Dad asks why he doesn't like school. Calvin tells him they don't read about dinosaurs.
Appears In 25 JUNE 1990 Script Hop in, Hobbes! We're going to get rich! Oh no, I'm not getting into that box. I don't want to be transmogrified or duplicated or whatever. What? When the TOP is open, it's a time machine, remember? Even worse. Oh, don't be such a baby. The way you act, you'd think the dinosaur actually GOT us last time. Why, it wasn't even a carnivore. I don't care. You and that box are plain bad news.
Description Calvin is in a box and tells Hobbes to hop in, they're going to get rich. Hobbes wants no part of it. He doesn't want to be transmogrified, duplicated, or whatever. Calvin reminds him that when the top is open, it's a time machine. Hobbes says that's even worse. Calvin chides him for being such a baby. He says the way Hobbes acts, the dinosaur actually got them last time. He says it wasn't even a carnivore. Hobbes doesn't care. He says Calvin and that box are plain bad news.
Appears In 26 JUNE 1990 Script Too bad you're not going back to the jurassic with me. An opportunity like this doesn't come along every day, you know. The less often, the better, is what I say. We're just going on a photo safari! When we come back with REAL dinosaur photos, we'll get rich! You can drop the "we" stuff. I'm not going. OK, well, I guess I'll have to eat all these great snacks myself then. Snacks? What kind of snacks? Are they GOOD snacks? How many snacks did you bring?? Never mind! You said you're not going.
Description Calvin says it's too bad Hobbes isn't going back to the Jurassic period with him. Calvin says they're going on a photo safari. Hobbes says he can drop the "we" stuff. Calvin says he'll have to eat all these great snacks himself. Hobbes asks what kind of snacks and how many.
Appears In 29 JUNE 1990 Script There's a diplodocus! We're in the jurassic! We made it! Ugh. I can't believe you wanted to come back here. Last time we didn't bring a camera. All we need is a few good dinosaur photos and we'll be rich when we get home. If we get in National Geographic, maybe I'll get to meet some of those tigress babes they showed in the April issue! Yow wow! Those were females? Really, I don't know how you can even tell the difference.
Description They see a diplodocus. They're in the Jurassic. Hobbes can't believe Calvin wanted to come back. Calvin said last time, they forgot the camera. He figures they only need a few dinosaur photos, and they'll get rich when they get home. Hobbes thinks if they get in National Geographic, he can meet some of those tigress babes they showed in the April issue. Calvin asks if they were females. He doesn't know how Hobbes can tell the difference.
Appears In 30 JUNE 1990 Script Hey! There's a chance to get some pictures of some stegosaurs! See, these photos will answer hundreds of questions about dinosaur anatomy and behavior! Paleontologists will pay through their nose to see these! Take a picture of this one. He's smiling. Just a minute. Just a minute.
Description They have a chance for pictures of stegosaurs. Calvin says these pictures will answer hundreds of questions about dinosaur anatomy and behavior. Paleontologists will pay through the nose for these pictures. Hobbes points behind him to take the picture of the dinosaur that's smiling. It's a allosaurus! Calvin is busy looking the other way for his photo.
Appears In 03 JULY 1990 Script Quick! Thow him the food! My sandwich had mustard. Is this one yours? Put on your vortex goggles! We're taking off! Eww, this banana is mushy. He can have THIS. We did it! We're off! Here. Boy, that was a close call. Bit it will be worth it when we get these pictures developed. Since I rescued your sandwich, can I eat it?
Description Calvin tells Hobbes to throw some food. Hobbes doesn't want to throw his sandwich. Hobbes finds a mushy banana that he throws to the dinosaur. Calvin says it was a close call, but it will be worth it when they develop their pictures. Hobbes asks if he can eat Calvin's sandwich, since he rescued it.
Appears In 04 JULY 1990 Script Hey Mom, guess where Hobbes and I have been! I SAW where you were. You were playing in a cardboard box out back. Nope! That's just what it LOOKED like. We time travelled to the jurassic, but we returned at the split second we left! That's why it didn't look like we were gone! We saw lots of dinosaurs! Well, you've had a productive morning then. Yeah. Will you take this film to be developed? I'll pay you back
Description Calvin runs up to Mom and asks if she knows where he and Hobbes have been. She says she saw him playing in a cardboard box out back. Calvin says that's what it looked like, but they really time-traveled to the Jurassic period and returned at the split second they left. That's why it didn't look like they left. He says they saw lots of dinosaurs. He asks if Mom will take some film to be developed. He'll pay her back when Time magazine coughs up for his story.
Appears In 05 JULY 1990 Script Hobbes, look! We got our pictures back from our jurassic trip! Oh boy! Let's see! Wow, these came out good! Look at that apatosaur! There's me! There's me! Yes! Yes! We're RICH! Ha ha! Now we can get our own apartment! This dinosaur blinked. I'll buy a car too, but since I can't drive for another decade, we'll have to get a chauffeur. If we pay him, he has to let us sit up front and beep the horn, right?
Description Calvin has the pictures from the Jurassic trip. The pictures came out great. Calvin says they can get their own apartment now. Calvin says he'll also buy a car, but since he can't drive for another decade, he'll get a chauffeur. Hobbes says that if they pay him, he'll have to let them sit up front and beep the horn.
Appears In 06 JULY 1990 Script Well Dad, it's too bad you weren't any nicer to me all these years. Beg pardon? Yep, I can't say I'm particularly including to share my future millions with you. Here, look. Dinosaurs? Hobbes and I went to the jurassic today and came back with these dramatic photographs! We're going to be rich. I didn't realize dinosaurs looked so small and plastic. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING?!
Description Calvin tells Dad it's too bad he wasn't nicer to him all these years. He explains that he's not inclined to share his future millions with Dad. He shows him the pictures he took. Dad comments that he didn't realize dinosaurs looked so small and plastic. Calvin wants to know what Dad is insinuating.
Appears In 07 JULY 1990 Script Dad doesn't believe we went to the jurassic and took photographs of real dinosaurs. He says it looks like we just put my toy models in the yard and took pictures of THEM! He says our get-rich-quick scheme won't work. Huh! He said if we REALLY wanted to get some money, he'd pay us a dollar to pull weeds out of the front walk. Just a dollar? Of course I told him we didn't want the money THAT bad.
Description Calvin tells Hobbes that Dad doesn't believe they went to the Jurassic period and took photographs of real dinosaurs. Calvin continues that Dad thinks they took toy dinosaurs and took pictures of those. Dad told Calvin that if he really wanted to make money, Dad would pay a dollar for Calvin to pull weeds out of the front walk. Calvin told him he didn't want the money that bad.
Appears In 03 NOV 1990 Script Today I drew another picture in my "Dinosaurs in Rocket Ships" series, and Miss Wormwood threatened to give me a bad mark in her grade book if I didn't stop! The arts are under attack! Freedom of expression is being squelched! The authoritie are trying to silence any view contrary to their own! What does your teacher object to about drawing dinosaurs? Mostly my drawing them during math.
Description Calvin drew another picture in his "dinosaurs in rocket ship" series, and Miss Wormwood threatened to give him a bad grade if he didn't stop. Calvin protests the arts are under attack. Freedom of expression is being squelched. The authorities are trying to silence any view contrary to their own. Hobbes asks what his teacher objects to about dinosaurs. Calvin admits it's mostly his drawing them during math.
Appears In 16 MAR 1991 Script Find any dinosaur bones yet? Nope. I wish we lived in the badlands of Montana. It's easier there because erosion often exposes the bones. HERE though, you just have to start digging and hope for the best. Hence the systematic approach, hmm? Right. I guess I'll have to move that sapling.
Description Calvin is digging a hole, when Hobbes asks if he's found any dinosaur bones yet. Calvin says nope. He wishes they lived in the badlands of Montana. He says it's easier there, because erosion often exposes the bones. Calvin starts digging again, while saying here, you start digging and hope for the best. From above, we see Calvin has dug several holes in the yard. Hobbes asks if that's why he's using the systematic approach. Calvin says yes. He guesses he'll have to move a sapling.
Appears In 06 OCT 1991 Script Recess! A school day break for play and exercise. Little does Susie realize how much exercise she is about to get! She turns at the sound of running feet behind her... have her friends come to join her? NO! It's a pack of ferocious deinonychus dinosaurs!! Screaming, Susie hurls herself towards the school doors, but the pack is closing in! With the grim efficiency of wild dogs, th epredators have a meal! Across the playground students huddle in stupefied horror! Which one of THEM will be next? Thus the weak and stupid are weeded out in a heartless, but essential, natural selection, keeping the human population in check. ... At least, that's how it OUGHT to be. Thank you for that tasteless and entirely uninformative report on overpopulation. See me after class. Ya like that, Susie?
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Appears In 31 JAN 1992 Script Uh oh. There's a dinosaur in the kitchen. Well if you see Calvin anywhere, tell him it's almost time for dinner. I'd invite you, but no dinosaurs are allowed at the dinner table. Ha. Dinosaurs eat anywhere they want.
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Appears In 09 FEB 1992 Script Today is Valentine's Day. SO WHAT?! WHO CARES?! NOW ME! Who's your valentine THIS year?? NOBODY! Is it SUSIE?? NO! I'll bet she IS! I'll be your heart beats faster at the sound of her name! Ahh, how you long to gaze deep into her shimmering eyes!! WHAT?! Your cheeks are flushed! Your chin quivers to imagine her soft, warm lips pressed against yours! Oh, to be locked for an eternity in a passionate embrace with sweet, sweet Susie! TAKE IT BACK! Can I be "Best Tiger"? TAKE IT BACK! Have you picked out a ring yet? TAKE IT BACK! Where's the honeymoon? Hey, Calvin! Huh?? You jerk! This is for sending me a Valentine card with a drawing of me as a worm-eaten corpse! Oh HO-O-O! You sent her a CARD?? Doctor Love, paging Doctor I.M.N. Love! I'd say were about due for another Saint Valentine's Day massacre.
Description A dinosaur poem. The great tyrannosaur lived many years ago, and he epitomized the concept of the killer carnivore. The monster came to town this morning. He lunged into the crowd, and people ran screaming. They tried to get away. People were trampled. Two boys dawdled by the candy shop and were devoured. A camera crew arrived to give a live report. They failed, because they did not live. The menace ate his fill and stomped away. Calvin walks behind Mom's chair, growling and snarling while walking like a dinosaur. The poem ends that no one knows where the next tyrannosaur will be found....except Calvin.
Appears In 31 AUG 1992 Script Where do the candidates stand on dinosaur research?! That's what I want to know! Which party has the pro-paleontology platform plank? They can't ignore the dinosaur vote! If nobody panders to us, we'll throw the election! We'll stay home! We're disaffected, disenfranchised and discombobulated! We single-issue activities like to have our "hot buttons" pushed.
Description Calvin wonders where their candidates stand on dinosaur research. He wonders which party has the pro-paleontology platform plank. He says if no one panders to them, they'll stay home from the election. He says single-issue activists like to have their "hot buttons" pushed.
Appears In 29 NOV 1992 Script UHNGGG. It's the late jurassic. Calvin, the awful allosaur, darts around a giant, unsuspecting diplodocus! Calvin crouches in his hiding place, muscles tensed for the surprise attach! He waits... he waits! AAAAAAAA Sheesh, what's wrong with taking a little break?!
Description Susie is playing and turns at a sound. It's a pack of deinonychus dinosaurs. Susie runs toward the school doors, but the pack closes in. The predators have a meal. Other students look on in horror, wondering who's next. The weak and stupid are weeded out in a natural selection. That's how it ought to be. Miss Wormwood thanks Calvin for a tasteless and uninformative report on overpopulation.
Appears In 24 JAN 1993 Script Look at this! Some idiot dumped trash out here! People seem to forget that others of us have to live on this planet too. You know, I don't understand why humans evolved as such thoughtless, shortsighted creatures. Well, it can't stay that way forever. You think we'll get smarter. That's one of the two possibilities. Maybe we'll stop polluting before it's too late. We're all holding our breath.
Description The dinosaur comes out attacking another. Calvin hits Susie with a snowball. She gets up. The second dinosaur chases the attacking one. Calvin closes his front door, marches upstairs, and throws away his book on dinosaurs.
Appears In 09 MAY 1993 Script The late Cretaceous period ... when dinosaurs ruled the Earth! And Calvin ruled the dinosaurs! The terrible Tyrannosaurus sinks it teeth into a triceratops! Triumphant again, the undisputed king of dinosaurs let's out a mighty roar! With savage ferocity, the monster begins it's feast! Limb-severing, bone-crushing, and tendon-snapping, he ... Calvin! That's disgusting! For heaven's sake, slow down and chew quietly! The terrible Tyrannosaurus resumes eating, mortified that someone might see him.
Description Hobbes pounces on Calvin. Right before impact, Calvin stoops down to pick up a dime. Hobbes tumbles over him, stops, scratches himself, stretches, then walks off. Calvin says Hobbes would love for him to believe that somersault was intentional and innocent.
Appears In 15 AUG 1993 Script Calvin? Calvin? Calvin! Hmm... the engine's making funny noises. Spaceman Spiff is going down over Planet Gork! Zounds! The planet is inhabited! An alien metropolis opens up before our hero's eyes! Spiff's stabilizers refuse to respond! Our hero is going to crazh! THIS SPELLS DISASTER! CALVIN! ..uh... D... I... S... A... S... T... E... R. Very good. I'm glad you were paying attention. YES! Once again the incredible Spaceman Spiff beats all odds to save the day! You may sit down, Calvin.
Description Calvin and Hobbes hop out of bed. They read the paper, run outside to play, dig for dinosaurs, look under rocks for bugs, play Calvinball, fight, hit Susie with a water balloon, run from a snake, look at the moon, and catch fireflies. Mom drags Calvin inside to bed. Calvin says summer days are supposed to be longer, but they seem shorter to him. Hobbes says they didn't get to do half their itinerary.
Appears In 31 OCT 1993 Script The end of the mesozoic era... a herd of chasmosaurs is unusually jittery! They now know they have more to fear than tyrannosaurs! Now they face an even GREATER danger... TYRANNOSAURS in F-14s! This is SO cool! This is SO stupid!
Description Calvin, the tyrannosaur, roars triumphantly. Calvin's struggle has given him a monstrous appetite. He rips gigantic chunks of the carcass and swallows them whole. It's a disgusting spectacle of savage gluttony. Mom tells Calvin to stop eating his Halloween candy. Calvin is in a dinosaur costume. She tells him he'll get sick if he eats all of it. Calvin says he earned it.
Appears In 30 JAN 1994 Script Hey, there's some sort of remote control gizmo in this drawer. I wonder what it does. Click. WAAA! Mom?? Dad??? CALVIN! SIGHHH. Calvin, that's very annoying.
Description Calvin is reading his school book. He walks away. Calvin the dinosaur stalks a diplodocus. He crouches in hiding, waiting for the surprise attack. The diplodocus gets closer to the trees. Mom opens a door. Calvin jumps out, yelling at her. She's terrified. Calvin sits reading his book again, wondering what's wrong with taking a little break.
Appears In 19 FEB 1994 Script What's THIS snowman? He's a paleontologist. He's looking for cretaceous snow dinosaurs. Why does he look so sad? He realized that snow doesn't fissilize. It just melts. Your nowmen lead tragic lives. Well, they're not very bright.
Description Calvin shows Hobbes a snowman paleontologist. Hobbes asks why the snowman looks sad. Calvin tells Hobbes the snowman just realized snow doesn't fossilize. It just melts. Hobbes says Calvin's snowmen lead tragic lives. Calvin says they're not too bright.
Appears In 11 JULY 1994 Script Hop in, Hobbes! We're going to get rich! Oh no, I'm not getting into that box. I don't want to be transmogrified or duplicated or whatever. What? When the TOP is open, it's a time machine, remember? Even worse. Oh, don't be such a baby. The way you act, you'd think the dinosaur actually GOT us last time. Why, it wasn't even a carnivore. I don't care. You and that box are plain bad news.
Description
Appears In 12 JULY 1994 Script Too bad you're not going back to the jurassic with me. An opportunity like this doesn't come along every day, you know. The less often, the better, is what I say. We're just going on a photo safari! When we come back with REAL dinosaur photos, we'll get rich! You can drop the "we" stuff. I'm not going. OK, well, I guess I'll have to eat all these great snacks myself then. Snacks? What kind of snacks? Are they GOOD snacks? How many snacks did you bring?? Never mind! You said you're not going.
Description
Appears In 15 JULY 1994 Script There's a diplodocus! We're in the jurassic! We made it! Ugh. I can't believe you wanted to come back here. Last time we didn't bring a camera. All we need is a few good dinosaur photos and we'll be rich when we get home. If we get in National Geographic, maybe I'll get to meet some of those tigress babes they showed in the April issue! Yow wow! Those were females? Really, I don't know how you can even tell the difference.
Description
Appears In 16 JULY 1994 Script Hey! There's a chance to get some pictures of some stegosaurs! See, these photos will answer hundreds of questions about dinosaur anatomy and behavior! Paleontologists will pay through their nose to see these! Take a picture of this one. He's smiling. Just a minute. Just a minute.
Description
Appears In 20 JULY 1994 Script Hey Mom, guess where Hobbes and I have been! I SAW where you were. You were playing in a cardboard box out back. Nope! That's just what it LOOKED like. We time travelled to the jurassic, but we returned at the split second we left! That's why it didn't look like we were gone! We saw lots of dinosaurs! Well, you've had a productive morning then. Yeah. Will you take this film to be developed? I'll pay you back
Description
Appears In 21 JULY 1994 Script Hobbes, look! We got our pictures back from our jurassic trip! Oh boy! Let's see! Wow, these came out good! Look at that apatosaur! There's me! There's me! Yes! Yes! We're RICH! Ha ha! Now we can get our own apartment! This dinosaur blinked. I'll buy a car too, but since I can't drive for another decade, we'll have to get a chauffeur. If we pay him, he has to let us sit up front and beep the horn, right?
Description
Appears In 22 JULY 1994 Script Well Dad, it's too bad you weren't any nicer to me all these years. Beg pardon? Yep, I can't say I'm particularly including to share my future millions with you. Here, look. Dinosaurs? Hobbes and I went to the jurassic today and came back with these dramatic photographs! We're going to be rich. I didn't realize dinosaurs looked so small and plastic. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING?!
Description
Appears In 23 JULY 1994 Script Dad doesn't believe we went to the jurassic and took photographs of real dinosaurs. He says it looks like we just put my toy models in the yard and took pictures of THEM! He says our get-rich-quick scheme won't work. Huh! He said if we REALLY wanted to get some money, he'd pay us a dollar to pull weeds out of the front walk. Just a dollar? Of course I told him we didn't want the money THAT bad.
Description
Appears In 11 APR 1995 Script Remember when I was first born? I couldn't even turn myself over! My eyes wouldn't focus! I couldn't do anything! Think of all the work it took to develop the motor skills necessary to hold a crayon, top place the tip of it on a page, and to move it in predetermined, coordinated motions! This picture is the result of six years' unrelenting toil! A lifetime of effort went into this! I'm still not paying you $500 for it. It will appreciate! It's an investment!
Description Calvin asks Dad to remember when he was first born. He couldn't turn himself over. He asks Dad to think of all the motor skills necessary to hold a crayon and move it in predetermined, coordinated motions. He shows a picture of a dinosaur and indicates that is the result of six years' unrelenting effort. Dad says he's not paying $500 for it. Calvin implores that it will appreciate. It's an investment.
Appears In 30 APR 1995 Script Wanna go catch some fish? Sure. Ugh. I don't want to touch these worms will you put one on my hook? Me? I'm not gonna spear any worms. I know ... let's just dump the worms in the water, and when the fish come up to eat them, we'll catch them in the net! Pretty smart, huh? That's what I like about surviving in the wild ... pitting our wits against the raging elements! The worms are getting soggy. Ooh, they are starting to sink. Bloop bloop bloop. Let's pit our wits against some fast food cheesburgers. Those come in neat little boxes. Yeah, who'd want to eat something that eats worms anyway?
Description Someone is flying a spacecraft , cruising between large mesas, heading toward the horizon. A monster appears ahead of the spacecraft. Miss Wormwood is standing in front of Calvin's desk. He's startled awake. He looks at his school book. He sees a herd of dinosaurs as he come out of the bushes.
Appears In 01 OCT 1995 Script Were there dinosaurs when you were a kid, dad? Oh sure! Your grandfather and I used to put on our leopard skins and hunt Brontosaurus for all the clan rituals. Listen, buster, I think Calvin's grades are bad enough already, don't you? The horrifying Tyrannosaurus lumbers across the prehistoric valley. The mighty dinosaur is a walking death machine! Only one other creature dares to challenge the terrible Tyrannosaurus! ... the savage Saber-Toothed Tiger! Gg mmf yow gzzzz mkn gbzz, yow. Wake up! The meek Tyrannosaurus victim of an innocent misunderstanding, tears like heck across the prehistoric valley.
Description Spaceman Spiff is stranded on a distant planet. To survive, he must find food. Spiff follows a scavenger Mordon. There may be a fresh kill nearby. Due to the stench, our hero becomes a vegetarian on the spot. The grasses can't be eaten. The fruit is poisonous. Weak and despairing, Spiff looks into a frozen geyser pit. Ice cream sandwiches! Our hero is saved! Susie tells him that isn't very healthy. Calvin mumbles he only needs to survive until he can escape.
Appears In
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This page is strictly a tribute to Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic ever, and two of the best characters who have taught me so much over many years. It is meant for research purposes only.