Your search found 44 comics:22 MAY 1986 Script Grab the hotdogs and come on! The troops cooking dinner over the fire. Oh that's just great. Here we've been lugging this dumb microwave around for nothing.
Description Hobbes pokes his head into the tent and tells Calvin to grab the hot dogs. The troop's cooking dinner over the fire. Calvin walks back to the tent and complains that he's been carrying around a microwave for nothing.
Appears In 26 MAY 1986 Script Mom! Mom! A big dog knocked me down and he stole Hobbes! I tried to catch him but I couldn't. And now I've lost my best friend! Well Calvin. If you wouldn't drag that tiger everywhere things like this wouldn't happen. There's no problem so awful that you can't add some more guilt to it and make it worse!
Description Calvin runs into the house and yells to Mom that a big dog knocked him down and stole Hobbes. He holds her leg while saying he tried to catch him but couldn't. He's lost his best friend. Mom tells him that if he didn't carry Hobbes around everywhere, things like that wouldn't happen. Calvin says there isn't any problem you can't add guilt to and make it worse.
Appears In 29 MAY 1986 Script Well look. Somebody left a stuffed tiger out in the field how strange. Looks like a dog's been chewing on you fella. Well, nothing a little tea party with some other stuffed animals wouldn't help. C'mon.
Description Susie Derkins is walking along and comes upon Hobbes lying in the grass. She notices it looks like a dog has been chewing on him. She picks him up, figuring a tea party with other stuffed animals might not hurt.
Appears In 30 MAY 1986 Script Hobbes! Hobbes! Where are you?? Hello Calvin. Would you like to join my tea party? Heck no. I'm trying to find my best friend who's been kidnapped by a dog. Leave me alone. Well I think Mr. Calvin is very rude, don't you Mr. Tiger? Yes. I think so too. More tea anyone?
Description Calvin is walking along a wall yelling for Hobbes. Susie asks if Calvin would like to join her tea party. Calvin angrily declines, saying he's looking for his friend who's been kidnapped by a dog. Susie sits at her tea set talking to Mr. Tiger (Hobbes) about how rude Mr. Calvin is.
Appears In 17 JULY 1986 Script Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp. Whap Whap Whap Whap. I don't like food cooked out, do you? Ugh. It all tastes the same.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are sitting on a log roasting wieners. The hot dogs catch fire. Calvin stomps on his hot dog, while Hobbes smacks his into the ground to put out the fires. Hobbes says he doesn't like food that's cooked outside. Calvin thinks it all tastes the same.
Appears In 22 OCT 1986 Script Look, I can make shadows on the wall here's a dog. Hey, that's good! Here's a swan. Hmm ... that looks more like some bug eyed tentacled thing. Mommm!
Description Calvin shows Hobbes he can make a shadow animal. He makes a dog. Hobbes thinks it's pretty good. Calvin then tries to make a swan. Hobbes sees a bug-eyed tentacle thing. They both jump in fright, crawl under the covers, and yell for Mom.
Appears In 26 JUNE 1987 Script I read that girls are made up of "sugar and spice and everything nice" ... whereas boys are made of "snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails." Hmph. So what are tigers made of? "Dragonflies and katykids, but mostly chewed-up little kids." Oh, that's clever.
Description Hobbes tells Calvin that he's heard girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, while boys are made of snips, snails, and puppy dog tails. Calvin asks what tigers are made of. Hobbes tells him dragonflies, katydids, but mostly chewed-up little kids. Calvin doesn't think that's very funny.
Appears In 14 NOV 1987 Script I made up a joke. A man's going for a walk, so he gets his dog and says "heel." ... and the dog looks up and says "it takes one to know one, buster!" ha ha ha. What's the matter with you? Don't you get it? Ahhh, what do tigers know about sophisticated humor, anyway? How did the dog learn to talk?
Description Calvin tells Hobbes a joke he made up. A man is going for a walk. He gets his dog, and the guy says "Heel". The dog looks up and says "It takes one to know one, Buster". Calvin laughs, Hobbes doesn't. Calvin asks if Hobbes gets it. Calvin wonders what tigers know about sophisticated humor, anyway. Hobbes wants to know how the dog learned to talk.
Appears In 11 FEB 1988 Script A chicken?? You transmogrified me into a chicken! You were supposed to turn me into a pterodactyl, you nincompoop! All you had to do was think of a pterodactyl! Why did you think of a chicken? It's almost lunchtime. Oh, I see well I'm glad you weren't hungry for a hotdog!
Description Hobbes changes Calvin into a chicken. Calvin yells at Hobbes. He was supposed to change him into a pterodactyl. Calvin, the chicken, asks why he thought of a chicken instead of a pterodactyl. Hobbes says it was because it was almost lunchtime. Calvin continues to badger Hobbes by saying that he's glad Hobbes wasn't hungry for a hot dog.
Appears In 20 AUG 1988 Script Give me some cookies, or I light the fuse and send us all to kingdom come. What did you do, stick a piece of string into a hot dog? For heaven't sake, don't waste food, Calvin. Give me that. Can I have any cookies? No. Go play outside. I sure wish I could get my hands on some REAL dynamite. Can I have the hot dog, or did your Mom take it?
Description Calvin tells Mom to give him some cookies or he'll light the fuse and send them all to kingdom come. He has something in his hand. Mom looks at him and sees he tied a string to a hot dog. She tells him not to waste food and takes the hot dog from Calvin. He asks if he can have some cookies. Mom says no. Calvin says he wishes he could get his hands on some real dynamite. Hobbes asks if he can have the hot dog, or did Mom take it.
Appears In 30 AUG 1988 Script I'm hungry. Too bad. Breakfast isn't until tomorrow. My tummy's growling. Hush. Most people don't sleep well next to a hungry tiger. Sometimes I sure wish I had a dog. More tuna and less mayonnaise.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are in bed. Hobbes is hungry. Calvin tells him breakfast isn't until tomorrow. Hobbes' stomach is growling. Calvin tells him to be quiet. Hobbes reminds him most people don't sleep well next to a hungry tiger. Calvin's eyes open. In the kitchen, he's making Hobbes a sandwich. He says sometimes he wishes he had a dog. Hobbes tells him more tuna and less mayonnaise.
Appears In 28 SEPT 1988 Script Why do you think the Martian hid from us? Maybe Martians don't like Earthlings. Don't like us?! What's not to like?? There's nothing wrong with humans! Hey, you Martian! Come on out! We're not bad! We just came here because our people polluted our own planet so much that ... uh... what I mean, is... um... So what are you saying? That our reputation has preceded us? Would you welcome in a dog that wasn't house-trained?
Description Calvin asks why the Martian hid from them. Hobbes supposes Martians may not like Earthlings. Calvin wonders what there is not to like. Calvin yells to the Martian to come out, they're not bad. They just came to Mars because people polluted their own planet. He stops. Then, Calvin asks Hobbes if their reputation preceded them. Hobbes asks if Calvin would welcome in a dog that wasn't house-trained.
Appears In 24 NOV 1988 Script Get out of my way! I'm in a bad mood. I'll bet a pet dog would've gotten out of my way.
Description Calvin walks up to Hobbes, who's lying on the ground. Calvin says he's in a bad mood. He tells Hobbes to get out of his way. Hobbes sits up and holds his paw out. Calvin is puzzled. He's startled as Hobbes pops his claws out. Calvin turns around to walk away. He grumbles that a pet dog would have gotten out of his way.
Appears In 12 FEB 1989 Script Hold still. Now boost! Lift! C'mon! Mph! Get your hand out of my eye! OK, forward! On the way back, you're carrying ME. Hey, I got some mail. It's a valentine card. From Susie Derkins! It says, "Please be my valentine." You're Susie's valentine! I'm not her valentine just because I got this in the mail, am I? Does the post-master general know about this? Calvin and Susie sitting in a tree-ee! Kay-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-En-Gee! I don't have to KISS her, do I?! Is that what valentines do??! Oh, gross! First comes Lo-ove, Then comes marriage, Then comes a baby in a baby carriage! This can't be happening! I need a lawyer! She can't make me be her valentine! Here she comes! Here comes Susie! Hi, Calvin. Get away from me! I'm not your valentine! Take your card back! Eww! Girls! Yecchh! That card wasn't for YOU, you moron. Didn't you read the back of the envelope? The back? "Calvin, please give this to Hobbes." HOBBES?! Me? Really? Hot dog! Smooch city, here I come!
Description Calvin gets a valentine in the mailbox. It's from Susie Derkins. Calvin reads the card, which says "Be my valentine". Hobbes starts making fun of Calvin. He starts singing "Calvin and Susie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G". Calvin says he's not her valentine just because he got that in the mail. He asks if the Postmaster General knows about this. Hobbes continues ridiculing Calvin by singing "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage". Calvin is horrified to think he has to kiss Susie if they're valentines. Calvin wants a lawyer. He says she can't make him her valentine. Hobbes sees Susie coming. Susie says hi to Calvin, who throws the valentine on the ground. He tells her to get away from him, and he's not her valentine. He tells her to take her card back. Susie tells Calvin the card wasn't for him. She asks if he read the back of the envelope. When Calvin looks at it, it reads "Calvin, please give this to Hobbes". Calvin is shocked! Hobbes, with a smile on his face, says "Hot Dog! Smooch City, here I come".
Appears In 09 APR 1989 Script Whenever I need to do some serious thinking, I go for a walk in the woods. There are always a million distractions out here. I don't believe in ethics any more. As far as I'm concerned, the ends justify the means. Get what you can while the getting's good - that's what I say! Might makes right! The winners write the history books! It's a dog-eat-dog world, so I'll do whatever I have to, and let others argue about whether it's "right"or not. HEYY! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!? You were in my way. Now you're not. The ends justify the means. I didn't mean for EVERYONE, you dolt! Just ME! Ahh...
Description Calvin tells Hobbes he doesn't believe in ethics anymore. As far as he's concerned, the end justifies the means. He goes on to say you should get while the getting's good, might makes right, and winners write the history books. He figures it's a dog-eat-dog world, so he'll do what he has to and let others argue whether it's "right" or not. Hobbes pushes Calvin into a mud puddle. Calvin asks why he did that. Hobbes tells him he was in his way, now he's not. The end justifies the means. Calvin tells him he didn't mean for everyone, just him.
Appears In 02 JULY 1989 Script CLICK Uh oh... The sky is a deep orange! Calvin's skin is a pale green! Yellow flowers are now blue! Every color is the opposite of what it should be! Calvin has been transferred to a color film negative! His only hope is to be processed by a 1-hour photo finisher! Dveeloper! I need a developer! Doggone it, Calvin! That's ANOTHER picture ruined! Can't you look pleasant for 1/500th of a second?!
Description The sky is orange, Calvin's skin is green. Yellow flowers are now blue. Every color is the opposite of what it should be. Calvin has been turned into a color film negative. His only hope is to be processed by a 1-hour photo finisher. He grabs his throat and acts like he's choking. Dad is trying to get a picture of him. Dad complains that Calvin just ruined another photo. He asks if Calvin can't look pleasant for 1/500th of a second.
Appears In 03 AUG 1989 Script Arr! We're bloodthirsty pirates! Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Hoist the jolly roger and ready the plank! Here. What's this? Our booty!
Description Calvin and Hobbes are in their tree fort. Calvin says they're bloodthirsty pirates. Calvin calls avast, ye scurvy dogs. He tells Hobbes to hoist the Jolly Roger and ready the plank. Hobbes hands Calvin a small knit sock. Calvin asks what that is. Hobbes tells him "our booty" and starts laughing.
Appears In 14 AUG 1989 Script Oh no, you don't! There's only room for one in this pool and I was here first! If YOU want to cool off, you'll just have to jump in the sprinkler. Fine! I'll DO that. ! Doggone it, I didn't mean for you to have FUN!
Description Hobbes comes over to join Calvin in the kiddie pool. Calvin tells him there isn't enough room. He tells Hobbes if he wants to cool off, he'll have to jump in the sprinkler. Hobbes marches off and says he'll do that. Calvin watches him. Calvin darts out of the pool, running toward Hobbes. He yells that he didn't mean for Hobbes to have fun.
Appears In 15 OCT 1989 Script Thank you, Claire. That was very good. ... all right, who'd like to go next? Anyone at all besides Calvin? HEY! For show-and-tell, I brought these amazing fossilized bone fragments that I painstakingly unearthed from sedimentary deposits in my front yard! Though they look like ordinary driveway gravel to the untotured eyes of the ignorant layman, I immediately recognized these as pieces of jawbone from a new species of carnosaur! In this dramatic illustration, I've re-created the complete Calvinosaurus as it would have appeared in the late Jurassic! It's coloration here is somewhat conjectural. I'll be publishing my full findings shortly! Undoubtedly, I'll be the recipient of many lucrative paleontology prizes, and in a matter of weeks, prestige, fame and fortune will be mine! When this happens, you can be darn sure that those of you who were mean to me in school will suffer appropriately! I'll employ my resources to make your puny lives miserable! I'll crush your pitiful dreams and ambitions like bugs in the dust! ... but there IS an alternative! I'm now accepting a limited number of applications to be my pal. The cost is just $20 per person, and you can revel in the association for a lifetyme! Any takers? Oh yeah? Just you wait!
Description Calvin comes home and is pounced on by Hobbes. They're fighting as Susie asks what he's doing. She says he didn't even change out of his school clothes. Calvin explains that this maniac is so glad to see him that he blasts out like a big orange torpedo. A dog will wag its tail, but a tiger has to pounce on you. Susie asks if Hobbes pounces on him. Calvin says Hobbes enjoys the treachery and cunning of it all. He says it's their evil nature. Susie points out that Hobbes is just sitting there. Calvin says it's a big disguise. No one can fathom the savage mind of a jungle cat. He's a killer to the core. Susie walks off wishing her parents would move. Her diary gets weirder every day. Calvin looks at Hobbes and cocks his fist. He says to wipe off that grin or he'll do it for him.
Appears In 06 APR 1990 Script With stupendous speed, STUPENDOUS MAN is out the door! All right, Calvin! Where'd you go?! I know you're out here! Your parents told you to BEHAVE tonight, remember?! They're not going to be happy when they hear about THIS! See, if we had bought a dog instead, like I wanted, we could go out like this all the time. Honey, we came here to relax. Let's talk about something else.
Description Stupendous Man is out the door. Rosalyn yells out that his parents told him to behave. She says they're not going to be happy when they hear about this. Mom and Dad are in the restaurant. Dad says that if they had bought a dog like he wanted, they could go out like this all the time. Mom says they came to relax and should talk about something else.
Appears In 20 SEPT 1990 Script Boy, I feel sharp! I know this math stuff COLD! I'm ready for anything! I hope the teacher calls on me! I hope I get to demonstrate a problem at the board! I'll impress everyone! Here, Susie. Take one sheet and pass the rest across. What's this? A math quiz. HOT DOG!
Description Smiling at his desk, Calvin feels he knows math cold. He hopes the teacher calls on him. He hopes he gets to do a problem at the board. He'll impress everyone. Miss Wormwood hands Susie some papers and asks her to take one and pass the rest down. She asks what it is. Miss Wormwood says it's a math quiz. Enthused, Calvin says "Hot dog".
Appears In 28 NOV 1990 Script Mom, you know the sandwich you packed for me today? Well, by lunch time, the jelly had soaked into the bread. That grosses me out. So tomorrow, I'd like the jelly put in a separate container with a knife, so I can spread the jelly at the last possible moment before I eat the sandwich. Also, you keep using the bread from the middle of the loaf. I only like those pieces for toast. For sandwiches, I want only the end pieces, because they don't absorb as much jelly. Got it? Doggone it, she did it again!
Description Calvin complains to Mom that the sandwich she made him for lunch had the jelly soaking into the bread. That grosses him out. He tells Mom tomorrow he wants the jelly in a separate container with a knife so he can spread the jelly at the last moment before he eats the sandwich. He continues to complain Mom uses bread from the middle of the loaf. He likes those for toast. He wants end pieces for sandwiches, because they don't absorb as much jelly. He asks if she's got that. The next day, Calvin opens his lunch to see his sandwich is the same as before. Calvin complains that she did it again.
Appears In 24 FEB 1991 Script Susie, would you do me a really big favor? No. Pleeeeease?? It's nothing bad. What is it? Just go up to my house, open the front door, and yell, "I'm home." Why should I? Um... it's a surprise. I mean, no reason. I just dare you. Well forget it. C'mon, there's nothing to it! Look, I'll give you a quarter if you'll do it! OK. Oh man, this is going to be great! Yes! Yes! I'm opening the door... She'll never know what hit her! Hee hee hee! I'M HOME! Thanks for the quarter, sucker. No wait! It didn't happen! Say it again! Doggone it! What's wrong with that furball?? Where's his killer instinct when you really ... WAAA KAPOW! Never never never never NEVER trust a tiger. I can always tell when it's you by the bad smell! Yoo hoo hoo!
Description Calvin says that he's devoting himself to the cultivation of interpersonal relationships. He tells Hobbes no man is an island. They all need love and the support of others. As of today, his goal is to be at one with his fellow man. As he says he's going to develop and foster deep connections, he tells Hobbes to wait a minute. He makes a snowball and hits Susie with it. She chases him. Later, Calvin is head-first in the snow. He tells Hobbes he's changed his mind. People are scum. Hobbes thinks true happiness can only be found in the wanton indulgence of animals.
Appears In 25 FEB 1991 Script AUGH! Who did this? The Dame's scream hit an octave usually reserved for calling dogs, but it meant I had a case, and the sound of greenbacks slapping across my palm is music to my ears any day. After all, I'm not an opera critic. I'm a private eye.
Description Mom sees a night stand dumped over with a broken lamp. She yells "Who did this". In his office, Tracer Bullet hears Mom's yell. He knows he has a case. He says the sound of greenbacks slapping across his palms is music to his ears. He's not an opera critic, he's a private eye.
Appears In 06 OCT 1991 Script Recess! A school day break for play and exercise. Little does Susie realize how much exercise she is about to get! She turns at the sound of running feet behind her... have her friends come to join her? NO! It's a pack of ferocious deinonychus dinosaurs!! Screaming, Susie hurls herself towards the school doors, but the pack is closing in! With the grim efficiency of wild dogs, th epredators have a meal! Across the playground students huddle in stupefied horror! Which one of THEM will be next? Thus the weak and stupid are weeded out in a heartless, but essential, natural selection, keeping the human population in check. ... At least, that's how it OUGHT to be. Thank you for that tasteless and entirely uninformative report on overpopulation. See me after class. Ya like that, Susie?
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Appears In 24 NOV 1991 Script Mm, this dinner you fixed is delicious, honey. What is it? It's dog food. And don't call me "honey". You can't feed me DOG food! I'm the President of the United States! No, you're the President of the Deluded Fruitcakes Anonymous! Give me a break! You're just mad because you're the "First Husband" and you have to vacuum the White House all day! I DO NOT! In fact, I'm not your husband at all! What are you doing?! Stop being such a little weirdo! Me WONGA-TAA, king of the jungle! Oh, nice underpants! You're really gross. Me off to jungle! Find tiger friend! Live with animals! I can run the country better without you! Good riddance, you moron! It take one to know one! Boy, am I glad to see YOU. Playing with Susie is a big waste of time. You wouldn't believe the junk she can imagine. Nice underpants. What do you mean Calvin left his clothes with Susie??
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Appears In 04 DEC 1991 Script Look, I can make shadows on the wall here's a dog. Hey, that's good! Here's a swan. Hmm ... that looks more like some bug eyed tentacled thing. Mommm!
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Appears In 29 JUNE 1992 Script Suse, stay right there! I want to show you something. It's a surprise, so close your eyes. I'll be right back. Don't move. Oh, cover your nose so you don't smell anything, OK? That's real important. And all your clothes are washable, right? Doggone it, nobody's going to be her friend if she won't TRUST anyone.
Description Calvin asks Susie to stay where she is. He has a surprise. He wants her to close her eyes and cover her nose. He asks if her clothes are washable. Susie leaves. Calvin comes back with a mask on, carrying a pail. He says nobody's going to be her friend if she won't trust anyone.
Appears In 02 AUG 1992 Script Look, a dead bird! It must've hit the window. Isn't it beautiful? It's so delicate. Sighhh... once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that. ...which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's very confusing. I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up. No doubt.
Description Dad's riding his bike, commenting how he's outside in the fresh air (as a truck drives by throwing a can out the window) with no distractions (as a swarm of bugs surrounds him), nothing but quiet (as dogs snap at him) and a chance to get a feel for the land (as he falls off the bike). He's happy for the opportunity to reflect on things (as he holds his sore rear end). As he gets home, Dad says getting out like that makes the rat race seem ridiculous. Dad tells Mom he's thinking about quitting his job and riding his bicycle all the time. Mom suggests Dad call the bike shop to sponsor his mid-life crisis.
Appears In 11 AUG 1992 Script Hello, information? Yes, what exactly is the difference between a hotdog, a weiner and a frankfurter? What? Whaddaya MEAN?! OK, FINE! Thanks for NOTHING, you fraud!! And I've heard the "operator" isn't even a surgeon! You can't trust anyone.
Description Calvin calls information operator. He asks the difference between a hot dog, a wiener, and a frankfurter. He gets angry with their reply. Calvin tells Hobbes that he's heard the "operator" isn't even a surgeon. Hobbes says you can't trust anyone.
Appears In 19 OCT 1992 Script BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF Oh no, not AGAIN! Once this starts, every dog in the neighborhood starts yapping! GET IN HERE!
Description Mom and Dad wake up from sleeping. They hear barking. Dad puts his coat on. He says when this starts, every dog in the neighborhood starts yapping. He opens the door to see Calvin barking.
Appears In 31 JAN 1993 Script Any good mail today? Mm... not really. Here's a "You're not covering the cost of all these mailings" charity request. You've got a "You're not attractive enough" women's magazine with an article on swimsuits that minimize all your body flaws. Here are some "You're not stylish or ostentatious enough" catalogs... and coincidentally, an invitation to go deeper in debt from a credit card company. And here's our news magazine to identify the trend of the week we're missing... and I got a hobby magazine featuring new equipment I ought to have. Yikes. ...Why do I get the feeling that society is trying to make us discontented with everything we do and insecure about who we are? I suppose if people thought about real issues and needs instead of manufactured desires, the economy would collaps and we'd have total anarchy. So pitching this junk would make me some kind of terrorist, huh? Yep. It's our patriotic duty to buy distractions from a simple life. Hey Mom, I saw a bunch of products on TV that I didn't know existed, but I desperately need!
Description A man and woman are talking. She says the dinner is delicious. He says it's dog food, and don't call him honey. She says she's president of the United States. He says she's president of Deluded Fruitcakes Anonymous. She says he's mad because he's "first husband" and has to vacuum the White House all day. He says he's not her husband, he's Wonga-taa, kind of the jungle. He takes off his clothes to reveal jungle shorts. She says he's gross and tells him "nice underpants". He says he's off to the jungle to live with his tiger friend. She says good riddance. Walking home in his underwear, Calvin tells Hobbes playing with Susie is a waste of time. She can imagine such junk. Hobbes tells him "nice underpants". Mom is on the phone. She's asking what the caller means about Calvin leaving his clothes with Susie.
Appears In 28 MAR 1993 Script Whenever I need to do some serious thinking, I go for a walk in the woods. There are always a million distractions out here. I don't believe in ethics any more. As far as I'm concerned, the ends justify the means. Get what you can while the getting's good - that's what I say! Might makes right! The winners write the history books! It's a dog-eat-dog world, so I'll do whatever I have to, and let others argue about whether it's "right"or not. HEYY! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!? You were in my way. Now you're not. The ends justify the means. I didn't mean for EVERYONE, you dolt! Just ME! Ahh...
Description Calvin is snatched from bed by a robot. He's dropped into a cleaning machine, then he's sent to the kitchen by turbo chute. Dad takes off for work on his jet pack. He says he'll be home for dinner unless the shuttle is late from his moon meeting. Mom asks Calvin to put on his jacket. She asks why he's standing there. As Mom puts a jacket on Calvin, she wishes he'd try to stay in the present. Calvin sighs.
Appears In 24 MAY 1993 Script Little joys of life. 1. Reading a new comic book. 2. Petting a happy dog. 3. Getting a letter in the mail. 4. Eating the marshmallows in hot chocolate. 5. Smiling when a big kid calls you a nasty name... and then punching his teeth straight down his ugly neck. You really pull the ol' heartstrings. Some of these I haven't personally experienced, sad to say.
Description Calvin writes the little joys of life. Petting a dog, reading a comic book, smiling when a kid calls you a nasty name and you punch his teeth down his neck. Hobbes reads Calvin's list and says he pulls the ol' heartstrings.
Appears In 08 JUNE 1993 Script Want to hear a joke? Sure! OK, this guy goes into a bar. No, wait, he doesn't do that yet. Or maybe it's a grocery store. OK, it doesn't matter. Let's say it's a bar. He's somewhere in the vicinity of a bar, right? So anyway, there's this dog and he says something odd, I don't remember, but this other guy says, um, well, I forget, but it was funny. I'll try to imagine it. Yeah, you'll really laugh.
Description Calvin tells Hobbes a joke, or tries to. He starts it with a guy going into a bar. Calvin stops, then says it's a grocery store. Then, he decides it doesn't matter. Calvin says it's in the vicinity of a bar. He continues by saying there's a dog who says something odd, but Calvin doesn't remember what it was. Then the guy says something Calvin can't remember. He tells Hobbes it was funny. Hobbes offers to try to imagine it.
Appears In 21 JULY 1993 Script MOMM! HEY, MOM! Calvin, stop yelling across the house! If you want to talk to me, walk over to the living room, where I am! I stepped in dog doo. Where's the hose?
Description Calvin yells into the house for Mom. Mom tells him to stop yelling across the house. She says if he wants to talk to her, he can walk to the living room where she is. He does it. He tells Mom he stepped in dog doo and asks where the hose is.
Appears In 05 NOV 1993 Script Doggone it, he's got all the covers again. Zz. Zz... hmm? Oh yes, I'm VERY fond of Calvin. ...pass the gravy, please. zzz. Brrr... Zz.
Description In bed, Hobbes has the covers wrapped around himself. Calvin wakes up and gets ready to reach over to pull off the covers. Hobbes mumbles that he's very fond of Calvin and to pass the gravy. He continues sleeping. Calvin turns back over, shivers, but leaves the covers alone.
Appears In 22 APR 1994 Script With stupendous speed, STUPENDOUS MAN is out the door! All right, Calvin! Where'd you go?! I know you're out here! Your parents told you to BEHAVE tonight, remember?! They're not going to be happy when they hear about THIS! See, if we had bought a dog instead, like I wanted, we could go out like this all the time. Honey, we came here to relax. Let's talk about something else.
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Appears In 11 AUG 1994 Script Arr! We're bloodthirsty pirates! Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Hoist the jolly roger and ready the plank! Here. What's this? Our booty!
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Appears In 30 NOV 1994 Script Mom, you know the sandwich you packed for me today? Well, by lunch time, the jelly had soaked into the bread. That grosses me out. So tomorrow, I'd like the jelly put in a separate container with a knife, so I can spread the jelly at the last possible moment before I eat the sandwich. Also, you keep using the bread from the middle of the loaf. I only like those pieces for toast. For sandwiches, I want only the end pieces, because they don't absorb as much jelly. Got it? Doggone it, she did it again!
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Appears In 28 JAN 1995 Script How in the world did you get in to the bathroom and back out so fast?
Description Calvin, the dog, happily walks along. He comes up behind Dad, who's shoveling the sidewalk. Dad asks how he got in to the bathroom and back out so fast.
Appears In 01 FEB 1995 Script CALVIN!
Description Calvin looks at a fire hydrant. He starts making a snowman. Mom yells when she sees he made a snow dog with a leg lifted, standing next to the fire hydrant.
Appears In 23 MAR 1995 Script Is this your "big orange surprise"? Doggone it, Hobbes! Didn't you pounce?! Here's your tiger. He was by the door. WHAT'S WITH THE TIE?! Hello, Susie. Come on in. My Mom didn't call and say I could go home yet, did she? YOU DRESSED UP FOR A GIRL??!
Description Susie asks if this is his big orange surprise. Calvin asks if Hobbes didn't pounce on her. Susie hands Hobbes to Calvin, saying he was by the door. Hobbes is wearing a tie. Mom tells Susie to come in. Susie asks if her mom called to say she could come home already. Calvin chastises Hobbes for dressing up for a girl.
Appears In 20 APR 1995 Script I got another letter from my past self. What's it say? "Dear future Calvin, I wrote this several days before you will receive it. You've done things I haven't done. You've seen things I haven't seen. You know things I don't know. You lucky dog! Your pal, Calvin." Sniff. I feel so sorry for myself two days ago. Poor him. He wasn't you.
Description Calvin got another letter from his past self. The note reads that the future Calvin has done things the past Calvin hadn't yet done. He calls the future Calvin a lucky dog. Calvin feels sorry for himself two days ago.
Appears In
Calvin & Hobbes : Copyright & All Rights Reserved by Bill Watterson and Andrews McMeel Universal
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This page is strictly a tribute to Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic ever, and two of the best characters who have taught me so much over many years. It is meant for research purposes only.