Your search found 13 comics:24 NOV 1986 Script Want to trade sandwiches, Calvin? No, I've got my favorite kind. What did you bring? Peanut butter. I have processed mouse loaf. Oh, gross. That's not really mouse loaf. It looks like egg salad. Taste it and see. Here. I think this is a whisker, it's good. Forget it. I don't even want my own lunch anymore. You don't? what kind of cookies are those?
Description Susie asks Calvin if he wants to trade sandwiches. He tells her no, that he's got his favorite kind. He asks Susie what kind she has, and she replies peanut butter. Calvin says his is processed mouse loaf. Susie doesn't believe it, saying it looks like egg salad. Calvin picks a piece off the sandwich and holds it up. He offers it to Susie to try. He thinks it's a whisker and is good. Susie is so grossed out she doesn't want her own sandwich now. Calvin wants to know what kind of cookies she has.
Appears In 28 APR 1987 Script Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! ... although, in a pinch, a pbj will do, I fyou eat it messily enough.
Description Calvin the zombie searches for food. He says the undead feed upon the living. He stops to make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He then continues to stalk around with his sandwich smeared around his face, saying that in a pinch a PBJ will do if you eat it messily enough.
Appears In 17 JAN 1988 Script I've got to go in. Another five minutes out here, and I'll be frozen solid. Ooh, I hope that was no one I knew. You looked pretty cold coming up the hill, so I fixed you some hot chocolate and crackers with peanut butter. Go wrap up in a blanket and take these in front of the fire. Here's Hobbes and a comic book. Getting toasty? Uh huh. Thanks. She even put marshmallows in the chocolate. Nobody knows how to pamper like a mom. So are you going to eat all those peanut butter crackers yourself, or what?
Description Calvin comes in from the snow. Mom fixed him some hot chocolate and crackers with peanut butter. She tells him to wrap up with a blanket and to take the food in front of the fireplace. She brings Hobbes and some comic books. After Mom leaves, Calvin notices she even put marshmallows in the hot chocolate. He says "nobody knows how to pamper like a Mom". Hobbes wants to know if Calvin is going to eat all those peanut butter crackers himself, or what.
Appears In 06 OCT 1988 Script Hi Susie! Guess what I brought for lunch. No! Go sit by someone else, OK? You always say your lunch is something revolting, and I don't want to hear it! Gee whiz, what's wrong with you? My lunch is peanut butter. What's so disgusting about that?! Hmph. I'm glad that one day out of the year you can be civil. It's my DESSERT that's gross! Look, a thermos full of phlegm!
Description Calvin asks Susie to guess what he brought for lunch. Susie wants no part of it. She tells him to sit somewhere else. He always says lunch is something revolting. Calvin is indignant. He asks what's so disgusting about peanut butter. He shows her the sandwich. Susie says she's glad that one day out of the year, he can be civil. Calvin tells her it's his dessert that's disgusting, a thermos full of phlegm.
Appears In 24 DEC 1988 Script How's my peanut butter sandwich coming? You're using chunky peanut butter, right? I won't eat smooth! Make it an open face sandwich too! Don't put any jelly on it or anything! And use some normal bread! I don't like those weird grain breads! Did you cut it diagonally? I like triangles better than rectangles, so be sure to cut it right! Your majesty's sandwich. HEY, this is a closed-face, horizontally cut, smooth peanut butter sandwich on weird bread with jelly! Weren't you LISTENING?!
Description Calvin asks Mom how his peanut butter sandwich is coming. He reminds her to use chunky, because he won't eat smooth. He wants it open face. He tells her not to put jelly on it and use normal bread. He doesn't like those weird grain breads. He asks her if she cut it diagonally. He likes triangles more than rectangles, so he tells her to cut it right. Mom sets the sandwich down and says "Your majesty's sandwich". Calvin looks at the sandwich. He complains he got a closed-face, horizontally cut, smooth peanut butter sandwich on weird bread with jelly. He asks if Mom wasn't listening.
Appears In 12 MAR 1990 Script Do you... I mean, does HOBBES want any tuna fish this week? No, Hobbes stopped eating canned tuna. You know they kill dolphins to get it. OK, I'll put it back. So what does Hobbes like now instead? Fresh swordfish steaks. He likes them grilled outside. Mm-hmm. How about peanut butter?
Description At the grocery store, Mom asks if Calvin, er, she means Hobbes, wants any tuna fish. Calvin tells her that Hobbes stopped eating tuna fish, because they kill dolphins to get it. Mom asks what Hobbes likes now. Calvin tells her fresh swordfish steaks, grilled outside. Mom asks about peanut butter.
Appears In 16 SEPT 1990 Script Quit squirming, Calvin. You've got ice cream all over your shirt. Rats, I was saving it for later. Thanks for the ice cream, Dad. It was great. You're welcome. I'm tired of pulling you. It's my turn to ride. Your Dad didn't get me any ice cream, so I get to ride both ways. No, you don't! Dad said tigers don't like ice cream! It's my turn to ride! Tigers don't know if they like ice cream until they try every kind. I'm not pulling. I've got news, fuzz brain. I'm not pulling either! Well, then, I guess we'll both just sit here until we die. Why do these "walks" always end up as "rides"? oh, you need the exercise more anyway.
Description Calvin tells Susie his sandwich wiggled. He says there's a slug in his peanut butter. The sandwich attacks him. The peanut butter itself is alive. He has his sandwich on his face. He says it's going to suck out his eyeballs. Susie looks away, sickened. Calvin pulls the sandwich off and drowns it in chocolate milk. With his face covered in peanut butter and chocolate milk, he tells Susie Mom will be disappointed her little plot failed. Susie says she's never seen anything so revolting and asks what's wrong with him. She walks away, saying she's eating somewhere else. Calvin says girls are so weird.
Appears In 16 DEC 1991 Script Want to trade sandwiches, Calvin? No, I've got my favorite kind. What did you bring? Peanut butter. I have processed mouse loaf. Oh, gross. That's not really mouse loaf. It looks like egg salad. Taste it and see. Here. I think this is a whisker, it's good. Forget it. I don't even want my own lunch anymore. You don't? what kind of cookies are those?
Description
Appears In 17 JULY 1992 Script How's your book? I can't put it down. Gripping? You said it. Maybe you should wash your hands. It's peanut butter mixed with bubble gum.
Description Calvin is reading a book under a tree. Hobbes asks how it is. Hobbes asks if it's gripping. Calvin says it is. Hobbes suggests Calvin wash his hands. Calvin pulls his hand from the book and says it's peanut butter mixed with bubble gum.
Appears In 10 OCT 1992 Script I'M IN A VERY BAD MOOD, SO NOBODY'D BETTER MESS WITH ME TODAY, BOY!! Here, I got you a new comic book. Why don't you just sit on the couch and I'll make you some peanut butter crackers. Are you comfy? Um, I guess so. Mom knows EVERYTHING.
Description Calvin yells that he's in a bad mood. Mom gets Calvin a comic book. She says he should sit on the couch, and she'll bring him some peanut butter crackers. Calvin decides Mom knows everything.
Appears In 01 APR 1993 Script AAUGH! The peanut butter is ruined! You're supposed to scoop one half straight down and then dig out the other side from the bottom, so part of the top remains undisturbed until the very end! What on earth for? It's a ritual! You have to keep the top of the peanut butter smooth! Maybe you should make your own sandwiches. If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. Did you cut the bread diagonally?
Description Calvin looks at the peanut butter jar and says it's ruined. He says you're supposed to scoop half straight down, then dig the other side from the bottom. Mom asks why. Calvin says it's a ritual to keep the top of the peanut butter smooth. She suggests he make his own sandwiches. Calvin says if you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. He asks if she cut the bread diagonally.
Appears In 29 AUG 1993 Script Well! Peanut butter! ... or so it SEEMS. Did you see that? Hmm? What? My sandwich wiggled! There's something ALIVE in it! Oh stop it, Calvin. I'm not kidding! Mom must be trying to kill me! I bet there's a slug in my peanut butter! Eww! Hmm... I don't FEEL any slugs in here. What could it be? I'd better smell it. AUGH! AUGH! IT'S GOT MY NOSE!! THE PEANUT BUTTER ITSELF IS ALIVE! IT'S OOZING UP MY FACE! IT'S GOING TO SUCK OUT MY EYEBALLS! HELP! RRGH! MMF! BLRGHGH! I got it off! Quick! Drown it in chocolate milk! Boy, what a close call THAT was! Won't MOM be disappointed to see her little plot FAILED! Look at you! I've never SEEN anything so revolting! What's wrong with you?! I'm eating somewhere else. Girls are so weird.
Description Calvin read an article about how much violence is on television. As he watches TV, Calvin says he's seen a few thousand homicides. He says it's his right to watch violence on TV. It's people like him who make those programs profitable. He says the customer is always right, and the shows have to pander to his tastes. He likes shootouts, car wrecks, and grisly murders. He likes to be entertained. Hobbes asks if he doesn't think all that violence is desensitizing. Calvin says no. He'd like to shoot the idiots who think this stuff affects him.
Appears In 21 SEPT 1995 Script Look at all this peanut butter! There must be three sizes of five brands of four consistencies! Who demands this much choice?? I know! I'll quite my job and devote my life to choosing peanut butter! Is "chunky" chunky enough, or do I need "EXTRA chunky"? I'll compare ingredients! I'll compare brands! I'll compare sizes and prices! Maybe I'll drive around and see what OTHER stores have! So much selection and so little time! I think YOU should do the shopping. Did the manager have to talk to you again? Hey, where's the peanut butter?!
Description Dad sees several choices of peanut butter. He wonders who demands so much choice. He says he'll quit his job and devote his live to choosing peanut butter. He'll compare brands and ingredients. He'll compare sizes and prices. He'll drive around seeing what other stores have. At home, Dad tells Mom that she should do the shopping. She asks if the manager had to talk to him again. Calvin wonders where the peanut butter is.
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This page is strictly a tribute to Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic ever, and two of the best characters who have taught me so much over many years. It is meant for research purposes only.