Your search found 59 comics:02 FEB 1986 Script What should we have Dad read us tonight? ... so in the next panel, Supertoad goes "Plooie" and ... "My what big teeth you have! Said little Red Riding Hood. The better to eat you with! Said the wolf ... tiger ... said the tiger, and he pounced on Little Red Riding Hood. Just then a hunter came by, and when he saw the wolf ... tiger ... when he saw the tiger he picked up his gun and ... and? ...and it was too late. The tiger ate them both and he lived happily ever after. The end." Good story Dad! Thanks! Sniff. I always cry at happy endings.
Description Dad is trying to read Calvin the story of "Little Red Riding Hood". Calvin keeps changing the wolf to a tiger. As Dad gets to the part about the hunter shooting the wolf (or tiger in this story), he changes his mind. He says the tiger pounces on the hunter and Little Red Riding Hood, eating them and living happily ever after. Calvin thanks Dad for the good story as Hobbes tries to hold back tears.
Appears In 08 MAR 1987 Script I'M HOME! AAUUGH! YAAAA! I thought that after seven boring hours at school, I though you might appreciate one moment of pure, abject terror. Let me up to get my bat and I'll thank you.
Description Hobbes peeks out the window, sneaks behind a potted plant, hides under the chair, and finally races toward the door. Calvin comes in the door and is immediately pounced upon by Hobbes. As Hobbes sits on Calvin's back, he tells Calvin that after seven boring hours of school, he figured Calvin would appreciate one moment of pure, abject terror. Calvin wants Hobbes to let him get his bat to show his thanks.
Appears In 19 APR 1987 Script How come you don't put on any pajamas? Fact is, I never take them off! Did you ash your face and brush your teeth? Yep! We both did! Ok then, good night. Good night. Move over, will ya? I'm already over! You should be over there! Quit pushing fuzz-for-brains! You're on my side! Call me names will you?! Yeah! Whumpp! Yaaaaa! Oh no! Ok! Ok! You win! Phoo ... I wish you had brushed your teeth! Yecch ... I wish you had washed your face!
Description Mom puts Calvin to bed and asks if he washed his face and brushed his teeth. Calvin replies that both he and Hobbes did. After Mom leaves, Calvin and Hobbes start fighting about which side of the bed each one should be on. Calvin calls Hobbes "fuzz-for-brains". Calvin hits Hobbes with a pillow. Hobbes jumps up and pounces on Calvin, who ends up in Hobbes' mouth. Calvin says Hobbes wins. Calvin makes a face and says he wishes Hobbes had brushed his teeth. Hobbes makes a face and says he wishes Calvin had washed his face.
Appears In 26 MAY 1987 Script I'm home! Yaaaaa! Aaaugh! Yowp! Arrgh! Yip! (pant pant) Why do you always do that?! Natural exuberance is one of those qualities that makes us tigers so darn endearing!
Description Calvin walks in the door yelling that he's home. Hobbes pounces on him. They wrestle around on the floor. Calvin asks Hobbes why he does that. Hobbes replies that natural exuberance is one of the qualities that makes tigers so endearing.
Appears In 28 MAY 1987 Script I'm home! Hello? Hobbes?? six ... five ... four ...
Description Calvin yells that he's home as he waves his hand into the house. Nothing happens. He peeks in and says "Hello?". Nothing happens. He tiptoes into the house calling Hobbes' name. Hobbes' paws are on the edge of the front door. He's been standing behind it all along. He begins a mental countdown to pounce on the unsuspecting Calvin.
Appears In 17 NOV 1987 Script I'm home. I read that tigers' spinal columns are like big coiled springs! I read that their brains are like big bows of tapioca.
Description Hobbes is poised, ready to pounce. Calvin comes in the door saying he's home. Hobbes crashes into him. Hobbes says that he heard tigers' spinal columns are like big coiled springs. Calvin says he heard their brains are like big bowls of tapioca.
Appears In 21 NOV 1987 Script I keep forgetting that five of his six ends are pointy when he lies like that.
Description Hobbes is lying on his back sleeping. Calvin leaps into the air to pounce on Hobbes. Hobbes wakes up, bears his fangs and claws as Calvin descends. Calvin tries to pull back. He walks off all torn up and says he keeps forgetting that five of Hobbes' six ends are pointy when he lies like that.
Appears In 20 MAR 1988 Script Uh oh, I'll bet Hobbes is waiting to spring on me as soon as I open the front door! I know I'll sneak around back and surprise him! Heh heh! There he is all ready to pounce! What a sucker! I'm home! I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
Description Calvin comes home from school. He knows Hobbes is waiting to pounce on him when he opens the door. He decides to sneak around the back and surprise Hobbes. He enters the house and sees Hobbes waiting. Calvin comes up behind Hobbes and yells that he's home. Hobbes jumps up, startled, eyes bulging. Calvin walks off all scratched up saying he's got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
Appears In 25 MAR 1988 Script I'm home! Pow! Gald to see me?? What I would give to be a latchkey kid.
Description Calvin steps off the school bus and comes into the house. He yells that he's home, and Hobbes pounces on him. Out the door they fly. Calvin ends up on his back, with his feet up on a tree. Hobbes asks if he's glad to see him. Calvin replies he'd love to be a latchkey kid.
Appears In 10 APR 1988 Script Despite that amazing display of cunning, reflex and physical prowess, your tail still has a death grip on your butt. Could you stop the room, please? I'd like to get off.
Description Hobbes is sleeping. As he awakens, he notices his tail twitching. He gets ready to pounce on it. He leaps. Around and around Hobbes goes trying to catch his tail. Exhausted, Hobbes lies on his back. Calvin tells him that despite his display of cunning, reflex and physical prowess, his tail still has a death grip on his butt. Head spinning, Hobbes asks Calvin to stop the room, he'd like to get off.
Appears In 07 AUG 1988 Script The race will finish at that trr, OK? This tree? Right. Readysetgo, I win! On your mark ... get set ... Go! Hey! Leggo! OW! Stop that! MMF RRG PUFF PUFF FINISH! Oof. Ten minutes! That's our best time yet for the 50-yard dash!
Description Calvin and Hobbes line up for a race. When Calvin take a lead, Hobbes holds the back of his shirt. When Hobbes gets a lead, Calvin pulls his tail. Hobbes pounces on Calvin, and they fight. As they're wrestling with each other, Hobbes finally gets to the finish line. Calvin, lying on Hobbes' back, says ten minutes is their best time yet for the 50-yard dash.
Appears In 12 NOV 1988 Script HIKE! Whoops! Heh heh... I'm losing the game, but winning an ambulatory adulthood.
Description Calvin is ready to snap himself the football. Hobbes is crouched on the other side of the ball ready to pounce. Calvin snaps the ball and Hobbes prepares to jump. Calvin flips the football to the ground for a fumble, where Hobbes pounces upon it and runs for a score. Calvin says he's losing the game, but he's winning an ambulatory adulthood.
Appears In 22 NOV 1988 Script MOMMM, I'M HOME FROM SCHOOL! OPEN THE DOOR FOR ME, OK? What's the matter? It wasn't locked. Sometimes Hobbes is waiting to pounce on me as soon as I open the door. Oh for heaven's sake! From now on, don't call me to come to the door unless it's locked. Ha! I sure out-smarted Hobbes THIS time! THBBPTT! Sissy.
Description Calvin comes home from school. He stands outside the house, yelling for Mom to open the door for him. Mom does, but mentions the door wasn't locked. He tells her sometimes Hobbes is ready to pounce on him when he returns home. Mom tells him not to call her to come open the door unless it's locked. Calvin says he sure outsmarted Hobbes this time. When he enters his bedroom, he sticks his tongue out at Hobbes. Hobbes calls Calvin a sissy.
Appears In 29 NOV 1988 Script I'M HO-OME! KAPOW What did you do, step on a land mine? When's Dad ever going to build that tiger pit I keep asking him about?
Description Calvin comes home from school. KAPOW! Hobbes pounces on Calvin. Calvin walks in all disheveled. Mom asks if he stepped on a land mine. Calvin asks when Dad is going to build the tiger pit he keeps asking him about.
Appears In 11 JAN 1989 Script I'M HO-OME! KAPOW WUMPH! Great. The snow cushioned the blow to my spine, so I can now die of pneumonia. Aww, has oo got de sniffoos?
Description Calvin comes home and opens the door. Hobbes pounces on him and knocks him into the snow. Calvin says the snow cushioned the blow to his spine, so now he can die of pneumonia. Hobbes makes fun of Calvin, mocking him with "Has oo got de sniffoos".
Appears In 21 APR 1989 Script My hiccups are gone! They finally went away all by themselves! What a relief! AAUGHH! Did I scare you? Did I cure your hiccups? hic hic hic hic hic
Description Calvin stops. His hiccups went away by themselves. He's relieved. Suddenly, Hobbes pounces on Calvin. He asks Calvin if he scared him and cured his hiccups. Calvin hiccups several times.
Appears In 25 AUG 1989 Script AAAGH!! You should be more alert! You wouldn't last two seconds in the jungle. THAT'S WHY I LIVE HERE, YOU DOLT!
Description Calvin is walking along under a tree. Suddenly, Hobbes pounces from the tree onto Calvin. They fight. Hobbes pins him down and tells him he should be more alert. He tells Calvin he wouldn't last two seconds in the jungle. Calvin replies that's why he lives here and calls Hobbes a dolt.
Appears In 15 OCT 1989 Script Thank you, Claire. That was very good. ... all right, who'd like to go next? Anyone at all besides Calvin? HEY! For show-and-tell, I brought these amazing fossilized bone fragments that I painstakingly unearthed from sedimentary deposits in my front yard! Though they look like ordinary driveway gravel to the untotured eyes of the ignorant layman, I immediately recognized these as pieces of jawbone from a new species of carnosaur! In this dramatic illustration, I've re-created the complete Calvinosaurus as it would have appeared in the late Jurassic! It's coloration here is somewhat conjectural. I'll be publishing my full findings shortly! Undoubtedly, I'll be the recipient of many lucrative paleontology prizes, and in a matter of weeks, prestige, fame and fortune will be mine! When this happens, you can be darn sure that those of you who were mean to me in school will suffer appropriately! I'll employ my resources to make your puny lives miserable! I'll crush your pitiful dreams and ambitions like bugs in the dust! ... but there IS an alternative! I'm now accepting a limited number of applications to be my pal. The cost is just $20 per person, and you can revel in the association for a lifetyme! Any takers? Oh yeah? Just you wait!
Description Calvin comes home and is pounced on by Hobbes. They're fighting as Susie asks what he's doing. She says he didn't even change out of his school clothes. Calvin explains that this maniac is so glad to see him that he blasts out like a big orange torpedo. A dog will wag its tail, but a tiger has to pounce on you. Susie asks if Hobbes pounces on him. Calvin says Hobbes enjoys the treachery and cunning of it all. He says it's their evil nature. Susie points out that Hobbes is just sitting there. Calvin says it's a big disguise. No one can fathom the savage mind of a jungle cat. He's a killer to the core. Susie walks off wishing her parents would move. Her diary gets weirder every day. Calvin looks at Hobbes and cocks his fist. He says to wipe off that grin or he'll do it for him.
Appears In 24 OCT 1989 Script Heh heh heh! AHA! I see you! Sneaking up to pounce on me, eh? Phooey. You see why MOST tigers don't chuckle to themselves.
Description Calvin is reading in the chair. He hears something say "heh, heh, heh". He looks behind the chair. He tells Hobbes he sees him sneaking up to pounce on him. Hobbes says "phooey". Calvin tells him he sees why most tigers don't chuckle to themselves.
Appears In 25 MAR 1990 Script What should we have Dad read us tonight? ... so in the next panel, Supertoad goes "Plooie" and ... "My what big teeth you have! Said little Red Riding Hood. The better to eat you with! Said the wolf ... tiger ... said the tiger, and he pounced on Little Red Riding Hood. Just then a hunter came by, and when he saw the wolf ... tiger ... when he saw the tiger he picked up his gun and ... and? ...and it was too late. The tiger ate them both and he lived happily ever after. The end." Good story Dad! Thanks! Sniff. I always cry at happy endings.
Description Mom tells Calvin he'd better go to bed. Calvin wants to read a little more. Mom says they don't want him to get too smart. Calvin is puzzled. Dad explains that if Calvin were smarter, he might realize...his parents are really bug-eyed aliens from Neptune! They rip their masks off, and Calvin runs away. They grab him, get batter ready, and dunk him. They say there's nothing like a fresh batch of earth boy waffles. Calvin wakes up. He says he wasn't asleep and isn't tired. As Mom and Dad carry Calvin to bed, Mom notices Calvin's face was pushed into Dad's leg so hard, it left corduroy lines.
Appears In 29 APR 1990 Script Ready? Let me check what the deductible is on my insurance policy... Munch munch. Would you care for a soft dring? OK. H-h-here y-you a-a-are! Any dessert? No, thanks. We'll be landing shortly. The captain has turned off the seat belt sign. Thank you for choosing Calvin's flight Z40 non-stop to Stoney Gulch. Next time I won't take the dinner flight.
Description Calvin returns home and remembers how Hobbes pounces on him. He gets an idea to make a broomstick Calvin to fool Hobbes. He sets the stick Calvin on the porch and calls "I'm home". Hobbes opens the door, grabs the fake Calvin, then asks if he can read Calvin's comic books. Calvin ties to open the door, but it's locked. He hears Hobbes ask to draw mustaches on all the superheroes. Calvin sits on the front porch saying he'll get him for this if it takes his whole life.
Appears In 13 MAY 1990 Script Did you ask your Mom if you could jump off the roof? Questions I know the answers to I don't need to ask right? Is this blanket big enough? Perfect! See, I'll just grab all the corners and make a parachute! You can watch as I float to the ground, gently as a leaf. Geronimo!! Crunch! His Mom's going to have a fit about those rose bushes.
Description Mom has Calvin get out of bed. He stands in the rain waiting for the school bus. He's bored at school. He doesn't like his lunch. Moe extorts money from him. He gets an "F" on a paper. He walks home in the rain. Hobbes pounces on him and hugs him. Mom, picking up his wet clothes, asks if Calvin had a good day. Calvin, carrying Hobbes, says it's getting better.
Appears In 11 AUG 1990 Script YAAH! Oops. He just does that to show he COULD'VE snuffed me.
Description Calvin is sitting on the floor, reading a comic book. Suddenly, Hobbes pounces down right in front of Calvin, startling him. Hobbes says "oops". As Hobbes walks off, Calvin says he just does that to show that he could have snuffed him.
Appears In 23 SEPT 1990 Script I'm hungry, when's lunch? Right now. Hi, Susie! Oh look, you've got your stuffed tiger! Can I squeeze him? What are you crazy? Hobbes is a ferocious man-eating jungle beast! Ferocious? He looks fuzzy and cuddly to me! Ha! Beneath that soft exterior lie terrible mandibles of bone crushing death! He'll grind you into hamburger! Each mighty paw hides razor-sharp claws to rip the living hide off any human that wanders too close! He's a monster! No, he's not. He's a big cutie. Oh no! I can't look!! ... so what happened to the mandibles of death. You sissy furball?!? I was beguiled by her feminine charms. Yow. Go soak your head.
Description Walking along, Calvin notices leaves rustling in the tree above. Hobbes jumps down and pounces on him. They fight, and Hobbes runs off. Calvin walks home. When he opens the door, Hobbes attacks again. Calvin crawls into the house. Mom opens the door to his room and asks what the big surprise is. Calvin, hiding behind her legs, says to try his closet.
Appears In 22 OCT 1990 Script Vroom vrooom rrr! Vroom vroooom AUGHH! I wouldn't mind this so much if he didn't keep a log. Would you say you were "very surprised" or "COMPLETELY surprised"?
Description Calvin is playing with his toy trucks. Hobbes pounces on him. Calvin, lying battered on the floor with Hobbes next to him says he wouldn't mind this so much if Hobbes didn't keep a log. Hobbes, writing in his book, asks if Calvin was "very surprised" or "completely surprised".
Appears In 23 OCT 1990 Script Look Mom, I made a mask. Are you getting ready for Haloween? Huh? No, this is for every day. You know how Hobbes always sneaks up from behind and pounces on me? No... Well, he does. But if you wear a mask like this on the back of your head, tigers can't tell which way you're facing, and they can't sneak up. I think your train of thought is a runaway. I read they wear these in India. Here, I made a mask for you too.
Description Calvin shows Mom a mask he made. She asks if it's for Halloween. Calvin tells her it's for every day. Since Hobbes sneaks up and attacks him from behind, Calvin can wear the mask on the back of his head. Hobbes won't know which way he's facing, so he can't sneak up. Mom says his train of thought is a runaway.
Appears In 24 OCT 1990 Script Here, Dad. I made you a mask like mine. You wear it on the back of your head to prevent tiger attacks. Um... Tigers always try to get you from behin, but with this mask on, they can't tell which way you're facing, so they don't pounce. I read it in a book. Well, I appreciate your concern, but I think I'll take my chances and not look like a lunatic. OK, if you'd rather look like raw hamburger, be my guest. Honey, are we out of aspirin again?
Description Calvin gives Dad a mask so he can avoid tiger attacks. Calvin says he read in a book that tigers can't tell which way you're facing with the mask on. Dad decides he'll take a chance and not look like a lunatic. Calvin says if he'd rather look like raw hamburger, be his guest. Dad asks Mom if they're out of aspirin again.
Appears In 09 NOV 1990 Script I'M HOME! There's no point in saving your lunch bags if you can't keep them cleaner than THIS! That's what YOU think.
Description Calvin puts leaves in his lunch bag, then draws a face on it. He puts his shoes and coat around the bag and sets the bag on the porch. He yells that he's home, and Hobbes pounces on the lunch bag. After he comes inside, Mom looks at the bag and says there's no point in saving his lunch bag if he can't keep it any cleaner than that. Calvin says that's what she thinks.
Appears In 06 JAN 1991 Script You know, Hobbes, it seems the only time most people go outside is to walk to their cars. We have houses, electricity, plumbing, heat... maybe we're so sheltered and comfortable that we've lost touch with the natural world and forgotten our place in it. Maybe we've lost our awe of nature. That's why I want to ask YOU, as a tiger, a wild animal close to nature, what you think we're put on earth to do. What's our purpose in life? Why are we here? We're here to devour each other alive. Turn on the lights! Turn up the heat!
Description Calvin builds a snowman on the porch. He puts his coat and hat on the snowman. He yells that he's home and hides next to the porch. Hobbes opens the door, sees the snowman, then asks why Calvin is on the ground without his coat. He says no reason. Calvin puts his coat and hat back on, kicks the snowman off the porch, starts to open the door, and Hobbes pounces on him.
Appears In 08 MAR 1991 Script AUGHH The thrill of the chase is so diminished when one's prey has little legs. OH, I'M REAL SORRY!
Description Calvin is walking along when he suddenly looks back, horrified. He runs as fast as he can. Hobbes is in the air, ready to pounce on Calvin. Afterward, Hobbes brushes dust off his fur complaining the thrill of the chase is so diminished when one's prey has little legs. Calvin, lying upside down on the ground, says that he's real sorry.
Appears In 28 APR 1991 Script Calvin the bug zips across the room in erratic loops... annoying everyone with his incessant whine and dizzying commotion! Worse still, he gets into the cookies, spreading filth and contamination everywhere! Yes, he's a disgusting menace to sanity and health! What a pest! Ha ha ha! What happened? I got swatted.
Description Hobbes stretches himself. He arches his back. He runs off. Hobbes is poised on the stairs. Calvin opens the door and yells that he's home. Hobbes pounces on Calvin, and they fight. Hobbes says if Calvin aches, it's because he didn't properly stretch before exercising. Getting up from the ground, Calvin yells that he didn't know he was going to be exercising.
Appears In 09 MAR 1992 Script rrRumRumm beep beep - rrrrrr rrummm - aughh! - I don't understand why you have to take your clothes off to play cars. It's very weird. Just give 'em here. Ok?
Description Calvin is playing with his toy truck and cars. Behind him, Hobbes pounces. Calvin is knocked out of his clothes. Mom brings Calvin his clothes, saying she doesn't understand why he has to take off his clothes to play cars. She says it's weird. Calvin, standing in his underwear with Hobbes next to him, tells Mom to just give him the clothes.
Appears In 14 MAR 1992 Script *snap* AUGH! Oops! Instinct kicked in before I knew that was you. YOU KNEW DARN WELL THAT WAS ME!
Description Calvin walks along and steps on a twig. It snaps. Hobbes pounces on Calvin. Hobbes gets up saying instinct kicked in before he knew it was Calvin. Calvin, on the ground beneath Hobbes, yells that Hobbes knew darn well it was him.
Appears In 22 MAR 1992 Script Wow! A dime! BONK! MMF OOF. He would just love me to believe that somersault was intentional and innocent.
Description A paw, a back, whiskers. Hobbes is on the prowl. He sees Calvin. Calvin sees him, and starts to run. Hobbes tracks him down, leaps, and pounces on Calvin. They fight. Hobbes wakes up from his dream, gnawing on his pillow. He looks at the pillow, all torn to pieces. Calvin is looking at it in horror. Hobbes smiles, yawns, and goes back to sleep. Calvin pulls his covers up tight and looks at Hobbes with wide eyes.
Appears In 19 JULY 1992 Script ... SIGHHH... Three plus two... Calvin?
Description Calvin runs up and hits a golf ball with a golf club. He stops as the ball flies back over his head. He and Hobbes are chasing the ball. Calvin tackles Hobbes, then fights with him. Calvin escapes, but Hobbes pounces on him before he can hit the golf ball again. They fight, and Hobbes escapes to hit the ball. Hobbes holds Calvin away with his foot as he hits the ball again. Calvin says if you don't want to play with old geezers, you have to make golf a contact sport.
Appears In 05 AUG 1992 Script Why do you sleep so much? I like to be rested when things start to happen. What are you talking about?! Nothing ever happens around here! Give me a break! AAAUGHH!
Description Calvin asks Hobbes why he sleeps so much. Hobbes tells him he likes to be rested when things start to happen. Calvin walks away wondering what he's talking about. Nothing ever happens around there. Hobbes pounces on an unsuspecting Calvin.
Appears In 06 SEPT 1992 Script Very good work, Calvin. You got an "A". All right, class. Books open! Next chapter! Sighhhh...
Description As Calvin passes Hobbes lying on the floor, he says it's hard to believe his conscience lets him sleep that well. Calvin walks on. Hobbes gets up, stalks, and pounces on Calvin. Hobbes returns to his spot, lies down, yawns, and says "now it does".
Appears In 20 SEPT 1992 Script If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? ...hmm... Anything at all! Whatever you want! A sandwich. A SANDWICH?!? WHAT KIND OF A STUPID WISH IS THAT?! Talk about a failure of imagination! I'D ask for a trillion billion dollars, my own space shuttle and a private continent. I got MY wish.
Description Hobbes pounces on Calvin, drags him along, then dumps him on the floor. Calvin says he needs to make friends with some less territorial animals.
Appears In 22 NOV 1992 Script How unoriginal! How hehune! Stupid kid. If you don't have anything to say, just keep quiet! Well, this is certainly shocking! Face it, kid, provoking a reaction isn't the same thing as saying something significant! Look, pal, there's no point expressing ideas if you can't make them understood! You're just babbling to yourself! And aren't we all bored with the irony byy now?You just THINK you're above it all, kid! I tell you Hobbes, it's tough being the sole guardian of high culture. Talent like ours carries such enormous responsibility.
Description Calvin's home and opens his door. He sees Hobbes coming at him. He turns to run. Hobbes pounces on him. He flies into the air. He falls to the ground. He asks Hobbes if he's noticed how time slows down during a catastrophe. Hobbes sighs that good times are always over so fast.
Appears In 25 DEC 1992 Script It's a certificate entitling the bearer to one day pounce-free of tiger attacks! Wow! Thanks, ol' buddy! You always think of the best gifts! I still think this could've waited until sunrise. Shh, take a picture.
Description On Christmas morning, Calvin sees a certificate for one day pounce-free of tiger attacks. He tells Hobbes he thinks of the best gifts. Sitting on the sofa in their robes, looking tired, Dad says this could have waited until sunrise. Mom tells him to take a picture.
Appears In 19 MAR 1993 Script I'll bet SOME kids walk around corners without even thinking about it. That was a rotten trick.
Description In the house, Calvin walks along, then stops to take off his shirt. When he gets to a corner, he holds his shirt out and Hobbes pounces on it. Calvin says some kids walk around corners without thinking about it. Hobbes, chewing and tearing the shirt, says that was a rotten trick.
Appears In 21 MAR 1993 Script Three... two... one... LIGHT SPEED! Blasting across the galaxy in hyper light drive, it's Spaceman Spiff, interplanetary explorer extraordin... Since Calvin seems to be enjoying the lesson, let's have him demonstrate the next problem. ZOONDS! A Zok death sloop appears out of nowhere and fries Spiff's stabilizers! Our hero hurls out of control towar his imminent doom! The situation is desperate! This could be the end! What can our hero do?? His mind racing furiously, Spiff springs into action! He downshifts his spacecraft and ... stalls. RINGG! Oh, darn, out of time. Once again Spaceman Spiff beats all odds to save the day!
Description Calvin wakes up thirsty, so he heads for a drink of water. Hobbes follows and stalks Calvin. Calvin sleepily returns to the bedroom, but Hobbes pounces. Calvin has a horrified expression on his face. Mom and Dad turn on the light to find him on the floor. They think he was sleepwalking, but Calvin says it was a homicidal psycho jungle cat. In bed, Hobbes laughs about how Calvin's face looked. Calvin says if Mom and Dad cared about him at all, they'd buy some infrared nighttime vision goggles.
Appears In 09 MAY 1993 Script The late Cretaceous period ... when dinosaurs ruled the Earth! And Calvin ruled the dinosaurs! The terrible Tyrannosaurus sinks it teeth into a triceratops! Triumphant again, the undisputed king of dinosaurs let's out a mighty roar! With savage ferocity, the monster begins it's feast! Limb-severing, bone-crushing, and tendon-snapping, he ... Calvin! That's disgusting! For heaven's sake, slow down and chew quietly! The terrible Tyrannosaurus resumes eating, mortified that someone might see him.
Description Hobbes pounces on Calvin. Right before impact, Calvin stoops down to pick up a dime. Hobbes tumbles over him, stops, scratches himself, stretches, then walks off. Calvin says Hobbes would love for him to believe that somersault was intentional and innocent.
Appears In 13 MAY 1993 Script This tiger is sprawled so still and so flat, a question arises when glancing thereat. Is he asleep? To be perfectly frank, he looks more as if he was creamed by a tank! AAAUGH
Description Hobbes lies on the floor. Calvin says a poem about the tiger sprawled still and flat. He asks if he's asleep, and to be frank, he says Hobbes looks like he was creamed by a tank. Calvin walks off. Hobbes pounces.
Appears In 26 JUNE 1993 Script Hobbes is laughing in his sleep. Hee hee he. Psst! What's so funny? Zzz... shh, I'm going to pounce on Calvin... zz... hee hee... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, CALVIN!
Description Calvin sees Hobbes laughing in his sleep. He whispers to Hobbes asking what's so funny. Hobbes mumbles back that he's going to pounce on Calvin. Calvin yells in Hobbes' ear for Calvin to run for his life. It shocks Hobbes awake, and Hobbes chases Calvin.
Appears In 13 SEPT 1993 Script What a day. I feel like I've been run over by a train. KAPOW! I mean, NOW I feel like that. See? You should always save hyperbole until you really need it.
Description Calvin opens he door, saying he feels like he's been run over by a train. Hobbes pounces on him. As he lies on the ground, he says now he feels like that. Hobbes brushes himself off and says you should save some hyperbole until you really need it.
Appears In 17 OCT 1993 Script Eeesh. What goes down must come up. BLECHH! AGKH HEY! NO! DON'T SPLOOSH HACK COUGH SPLUTTER MMF BLORP! UGH ICKK PTOOY YAA! I'LL GET YOU!! Heh heh... Hello, local navy recruitment office? Yes, this is an emergency...
Description Calvin has a football and runs up to a door and rings it. He rings it several times while waiting in a panic. He yells for the door to be opened. Hobbes pounces on Calvin. Finally, Susie opens the door to see Calvin lying on the steps with Hobbes on top of him. Susie says her mom said to tell Calvin their doorbell isn't a toy. She tells him to go away. Hobbes has the football and tells Calvin it's now illegal to hide in other people's houses. Calvin says girls just don't understand sports.
Appears In 02 NOV 1993 Script AAAAAA! A person should be safe from predators inside his own house! If I had reflexes like yours, I'd be glad for the opportunity to improve them.
Description Hobbes waits around a corner. Calvin approaches, then is pounces upon. Calvin claims a person should be safe from predators inside his own house. Hobbes says if he had reflexes like Calvin's, he'd be glad for the opportunity to improve them.
Appears In 14 NOV 1993 Script Brrrr! I'm freezing! You need a nice fur coat like mine. I'm all toasty. I'll just put my feed on your back, OK? Ooh, you ARE warm! GAAA! Quit thrashing around! You're letting in cold air! Well keep your icy feet on your own side of the bed then! They WERE! Your big behind was on MY side! THAT's your side! THIS is the demilitarized zone and THIS is MY side! All THAT?! No way, you hog! In fact, the whole bed is my side! Animals should sleep on the floor! Oh, THAT does it! You and your hairless pink monkey suit can freeze solid! I'm leaving! HEY! Don't take the blanket! COME BACK HERE! I'LL GET YOU! GIMME THAT! ...now where'd he go?? AAAAAA GAAAA! SOMEBODY'S FEET ARE LIKE ICE!! Calvin had another nightmare. If it's two crowded, you guys are welcome to sleep downstairs.
Description Calvin plays with a toy truck. He stops, looks around, listens, then carries his toy further away. He resumes playing. Hobbes pounces on him. Hobbes pins Calvin down telling him he moved upwind. He says human senses aren't worth beans. Calvin tells Hobbes to get off him. Mom asks if Calvin wants to watch his nature program. Calvin shouts no.
Appears In 06 DEC 1993 Script 14... 52... POW! WAAUGH! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT UNTIL I HIKE THE BALL!! Oops. Sorry. Darn tigers. You can explain the rules to 'em, but you can't suppress their surprise pounce instinct.
Description Calvin and Hobbes are playing football. Calvin calls signals. Hobbes pounces on Calvin. Calvin protests that Hobbes is supposed to wait until he snaps the ball. Calvin picks himself up from the ground saying you can explain the rules to a tiger, but you can't suppress their surprise pounce instinct.
Appears In 27 FEB 1994 Script Ah, what a lovely day to go sailing, eh Marsha? Our new boat is just wonderful, Bradley. What do you say we drop anchor and go for a swim, dearest? That sounds delightful, darling! Let's go! Ploosh ploosh. AAA!! AAA!! This lake is boiling hot! We're getting scalded!! Get out of the water! AA! OW! AA! OW! I've got second degree burns all over! What kind of lake IS this?! We need medical attention, Bradley! Pull up the anchor! Bradley, we're going the wrong way! I can't help it, Marsha! The wind is blowing us over here, toward the... the... THE WATERFALL! OH NO! AAAAA! BLUB BLUB! AAAA! GLUB GLUB GLUB! Help, help! The wind is picking up again! Hang on! We're flying right out of the water! Don't look don, Marsh! We're miles high! Uh oh! The wind suddenly stopped!! AAAAaaaaaaaa. We ... we're alive! Somehow we landed in another lake! But where ARE we?? I have a bad feeling about this, Bradley. IT'S A GIGANTIC WHIRLPOOL!! WE'RE GOING DOWN! WAAAAAA!! Here's the problem. That'll be $150. Somebody ELSE is going to pay for this too.
Description Calvin comes home, opens the door, gets a camera out of a box, then yells that he's home. As Hobbes pounces on him, he takes a picture. He shows Dad a picture of Hobbes leaping at him and says that's what Hobbes does when he comes home. Later, Hobbes is insulted to know Dad thinks Calvin tossed Hobbes into the air for the picture. Calvin says he has to get a video camera.
Appears In 25 MAR 1994 Script I'm ho-oOAAUGH! KAPOW! Man, this was cat a-pulted! Hee hee hee! You're a riot, Hobbes.
Description Calvin comes home, and Hobbes pounces on him. Hobbes says this was "cat a-pulted". Calvin, lying on the floor, says Hobbes is a riot.
Appears In 22 JAN 1995 Script What should we have Dad read us tonight? ... so in the next panel, Supertoad goes "Plooie" and ... "My what big teeth you have! Said little Red Riding Hood. The better to eat you with! Said the wolf ... tiger ... said the tiger, and he pounced on Little Red Riding Hood. Just then a hunter came by, and when he saw the wolf ... tiger ... when he saw the tiger he picked up his gun and ... and? ...and it was too late. The tiger ate them both and he lived happily ever after. The end." Good story Dad! Thanks! Sniff. I always cry at happy endings.
Description Calvin, the astronaut, hops out of the space lander. He hops in the lunar rover and drives around the surface of the moon. From space, you can read "Calvin is great" in tire tracks on the surface of the moon. Calvin looks at the moon with binoculars. He tells Dad he wishes he could go to the moon. Dad says he wishes Calvin could, too.
Appears In 03 FEB 1995 Script Tiger sprawling in the sun! Fast asleep, his day is done. Lying here, 'twas warmth he sought. The sun has made his tummy hot. One sad fact he overlooked: his brain is now completely cooked!
Description Hobbes is lying on the ground. Calvin says a poem about a tiger sprawling in the sun, his day done. It was warmth he sought, the sun making his tummy hot. One sad fact he overlooked, his brain is now completely cooked. Calvin laughs and walks off. Hobbes crouches, ready to pounce.
Appears In 23 MAR 1995 Script Is this your "big orange surprise"? Doggone it, Hobbes! Didn't you pounce?! Here's your tiger. He was by the door. WHAT'S WITH THE TIE?! Hello, Susie. Come on in. My Mom didn't call and say I could go home yet, did she? YOU DRESSED UP FOR A GIRL??!
Description Susie asks if this is his big orange surprise. Calvin asks if Hobbes didn't pounce on her. Susie hands Hobbes to Calvin, saying he was by the door. Hobbes is wearing a tie. Mom tells Susie to come in. Susie asks if her mom called to say she could come home already. Calvin chastises Hobbes for dressing up for a girl.
Appears In 26 MAR 1995 Script What do you have for lunch Susie? Maybe I'll trade you. Ugh! A cross section of a dachshund. No, thanks. It's bologna! I wonder what I have for lunch today. Its lunch time! Ha ha ha! I think I'll have this little kid!! Help! I'm being eaten alive by my own lunch! Somebody get me a fork! He's got me!! Aaarrrgghh! Wham wham wham! Ha! I killed it with my thermos! See? It's bleeding jelly! No wonder this seat wasn't taken.
Description Calvin is home from school. Hobbes sees him from the window and prepares to pounce. Calvin stops at the door. Inside, Hobbes wonders what's happening. Calvin sits on the steps. Hobbes lies down. Calvin continues to wait outside. Hobbes falls asleep. When Calvin hears Hobbes snoring, he opens the door. He is pounced upon by Hobbes. Hobbes gives Calvin a definition of "cat nap".
Appears In 21 MAY 1995 Script What's that smell? Either mom's cooking dinner, or somebody got sick in the furnace duct. Boy, does it stink in here! What are you cooking for dinner?! Whatever it is I'm not eating it. I'm stewing some monkey heads. Monkey heads? They'll be soggy enough to eat in about twenty minutes. Really?? We're having monkey heads! We are not ... are those really monkey heads? I've never had monkey heads before! I wonder what they're like. Wow! Monkey heads! Mm ... kinda squishy. Oow look, is that a nose? What's this? Brains? I didn't think they'd be so rubbery ... what? I thought these were stuffed peppers. Honey. What the heck is this?? Whatever it is I'm not eating it!
Description Calvin gets out of bed. Hobbes pounces on him. Calvin tells the malevolent, murderous moron to leave him alone. Hobbes tosses him into the air and says it's morning. Now they can do stuff again. Hobbes runs off. Calvin chases him saying it's hard to be mad at someone who misses you while you're asleep.
Appears In 05 JUNE 1995 Script Boy, our family would sure be in trouble if YOU were bringing home the bacon! I AM NOT BACON!
Description Calvin sees Hobbes lying on the floor. He says the family would be in trouble if Hobbes were bringing home the bacon. As he turns around, Hobbes pounces on him. Hobbes carries him in his mouth and drops him. Hobbes walks away, and Calvin yells after him that he isn't bacon.
Appears In 24 NOV 1995 Script How could anyone wear out shoes so fast? I lead a rugged life.
Description Calvin stops at a corner in the house. He takes off a shoe and flips it past the corner. Hobbes pounces on it. At the shoe store, Mom asks how anyone could wear out shoes so fast. Calvin tells her he leads a rugged life.
Appears In
Calvin & Hobbes : Copyright & All Rights Reserved by Bill Watterson and Andrews McMeel Universal
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This page is strictly a tribute to Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic ever, and two of the best characters who have taught me so much over many years. It is meant for research purposes only.