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20 JAN 1986
... and with that report, we ... click beeeoooop click rats.
Calvin points the remote control at the TV set, clicks it, and the TV goes off. Smiling, Calvin walks to the living room where Dad is sitting. Calvin points the remote control at Dad, clicks it, and says "rats" when nothing happens.
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Calvin and HobbesSomething Under the Bed Is DroolingThe Essential Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


09 DEC 1989
Want to go play outside? No, it's too much trouble. FIRST I'd have to get up. THEN I'd have to put on a coat. THEN I'd have to find my hat and put IT on. (sigh) Then we'd run around and I'd get tired, and when we came in I'd have to take all that stuff off. No way. So what are you going to do instead? I'm just going to sit here and wait for a good TV show to come on. I'll tell your Mom to turn you toward the light and water you periodically. Instead of making smart remarks, you could get me the remote control.
Hobbes asks Calvin if he wants to play outside. Calvin goes into great detail why he doesn't. He'd have to get up, get a coat, put on his hat, they'd run around and get tired. Then, he'd have to come in and take it all off again. Hobbes asks what he'll do. Calvin says he's going to sit in the chair until a good TV show comes on. Hobbes walks off saying he'll tell Mom and Dad to point him toward the light and water him periodically. Calvin tells him that instead of making smart remarks, he could get Calvin the remote control.
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Scientific Progress Goes \The Indispensable Calvin And HobbesThe Complete Calvin and Hobbes


07 NOV 1993
I'm bored. Let's go in. But we've only been out here a few minutes. This is taking too long. What's the hurry? We've got all day! Yeah, but it's kind of cold, and the sun's too bright, and my gloves are getting wet. And when you think about it, building a snowman is a lot of work. I didn't come here to do something hard. Besides, what if the snowman doesn't come out very good? We'd be failures! Who wants to be a failure?! Or even if it's good, what's the point? It's just going to melt in a few weeks anyway! It's all futile! So instead of wasting my time, I'm going to go inside, pull down the shades and watch TV. That way, in complete physical comfort, I can vicariously experience the activity of actors pretending to do things! Are you sure it's not too much trouble to turn on the TV? That's why we have a remote control. Virtual reality is already here. I can't believe the only way to get inside is by WALKING.
Calvin asks Hobbes what he'd wish for if he could have anything in the world. Hobbes says a sandwich. Calvin asks what kind of stupid wish that is. Calvin says he'd wish for a trillion dollars, a private continent, and his own space shuttle. In the house, Hobbes is eating a sandwich. He tells Calvin he got his wish.
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There\The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


30 JAN 1994
Hey, there's some sort of remote control gizmo in this drawer. I wonder what it does. Click. WAAA! Mom?? Dad??? CALVIN! SIGHHH. Calvin, that's very annoying.
Calvin is reading his school book. He walks away. Calvin the dinosaur stalks a diplodocus. He crouches in hiding, waiting for the surprise attack. The diplodocus gets closer to the trees. Mom opens a door. Calvin jumps out, yelling at her. She's terrified. Calvin sits reading his book again, wondering what's wrong with taking a little break.
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There\The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


05 MAR 1994
I'm writing a novel. What's it about? It's about a guy who flicks through TV channels with his remote control. THEY SAY TO WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW!
Calvin tells Hobbes he's writing a novel. It's about a guy who flicks through TV channels with his remote control. Hobbes walks off, and Calvin yells after him that they say to write what you know.
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There\The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


17 DEC 1994
Want to go play outside? No, it's too much trouble. FIRST I'd have to get up. THEN I'd have to put on a coat. THEN I'd have to find my hat and put IT on. (sigh) Then we'd run around and I'd get tired, and when we came in I'd have to take all that stuff off. No way. So what are you going to do instead? I'm just going to sit here and wait for a good TV show to come on. I'll tell your Mom to turn you toward the light and water you periodically. Instead of making smart remarks, you could get me the remote control.
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There\The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


08 JAN 1995
It says here that "Religion is the opiate of the masses." ... what do you suppose that means? ... it means Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet. What are you watching? Garbage. This show would insult a 6-year-old! And I should know. So why watch it? All the other shows are even worse! Why watch TV at all then? There's nothing to do. Nothing to do?! You could read a book! Or write a letter! Or take a walk! When you're old you'll wish you had more than memories of this tripe to look back on. Undoubtedly.
Calvin is bored making a snowman. Hobbes says they've only been outside a few minutes. Calvin says it's taking too long. Hobbes says they have all day. Calvin says the sun's too bright and his gloves are getting wet. He says making a snowman is hard work. He asks Hobbes what happens if the snowman isn't very good. They'd be failures. He says even if it's good, it will melt in a few weeks. Instead of wasting his time, he's going inside to watch TV. He'll be in complete physical comfort while experiencing the activity of actors pretending to do things. Hobbes asks if it's too much trouble to turn on the TV. Calvin replies that's why they have a remote control. Hobbes says virtual reality is already here. Calvin can't believe the only way to get inside is to walk.
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There\The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


19 MAR 1995
Did you ask your Mom if you could jump off the roof? Questions I know the answers to I don't need to ask right? Is this blanket big enough? Perfect! See, I'll just grab all the corners and make a parachute! You can watch as I float to the ground, gently as a leaf. Geronimo!! Crunch! His Mom's going to have a fit about those rose bushes.
Calvin finds a remote control gizmo in a drawer. He wonders what it does and clicks it. He drops down a tube to see Mom and Dad in a control room with a spacecraft. Mom and Dad are dressed in superhero costumes. Calvin stands in the living room looking at Mom and Dad. He sighs.
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There\The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


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